Day 8 – To Crab Feed or Not to Crab Feed?

Just rounding out Week 1 and along came the annual Little League Crab Feed. A moment of panic ensued. Should I go? All of our friends will be there and meeting for cocktails before hand. People will be having fun without me! I can’t eat or drink right now but never the less what to do??!! It was for a good cause, our little league after all. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!

As sweat started to pearl on my brow, I had to get a grip and seriously snapped out of it. I said sister, “you are in no position to be facing a meal with a plastic bib and All You Can Eat in the title.” DANGER, DANGER!!! 7 days of hard work could be wiped out before the winning raffle ticket numbers were called.

Let’s talk seriously about the “All You Can Eat” phenomenon. No wonder we are so fat in this country. “All You Can Eat” to a compulsive over eater is a free pass to be completely insane in public.. I can pile 5 separate dinners, 2 slices of pizza and 3 desserts onto 1 buffet sized plate and no one thinks “Damn woman!”. While perusing all those fatty, carby choices, I approach an altered state where I do actually think that prime rib goes with mac n’cheese, chow mein, mashed potatoes and fried chicken. Can you imagine doing this at home? Of course, I would wash this down with 40 oz of Diet Coke for good measure. For those of you who might be self conscious with piling on enough food for a lumberjack and his 6 strapping sons, they created the “clean plate”. Ah, now you can sweep away all evidence and start out fresh. Who will notice your 15 trips to the buffet? This completely disconnects you from having to face that you downed 5 portions in one sitting. Don't even get me started on attempting to eat while still in the buffet line. The sad part is (I know, really only one?), the food generally is not that great. My sisters in compulsion know, this doesn’t matter one damn bit.

My family loves all you can eat restaurants so I have spent many of fine family gatherings in just such establishments around town. Naturally skinny people know how to handle this scenario. My dear sister-in-law for example will put 3 green beans and 2 pieces of sushi on the plate and declare she is stuffed when finished. Seriously? I’m baffled by this behavior. I have known her long enough to know she is earnest and not stuffing macaroons in her purse for later. All I can think is “Come on! You can do better than that! Make a dent! Get another plate. You paid for it!”

I give you all this background so that you understand sadly why my poor husband attended the Annual Little League Crab Feed as the only single in a party of 15. Whew! No EAP session or bib required. Yes!