Four days into my meat munching marathon, a nasty little side effect crept up on me. You guessed it, constipation. Why! Things were going so well. Yes, this was listed in the fine print as a potential risk but never in a million years did I think they meant that it could happen to me (I know I completely sound like a bad Lifetime Movie). How could this happen with the mass amounts of liquids flowing in and out of my body daily? I am in a constant race with my youngest son to the bathroom and a little ashamed to admit that I have used the power of my big bootie to gently nudge ahead of him a time or 2 into the downstairs bathroom. I only mention this side effect so others also venturing into a similar medical weight loss journey know this potential risk in advance.
I will not horrify you with the details but no longer will I openly mock commercials that begin with “Do you suffer from regularity?”. I have officially crossed over into the category of those who do and was forced to purchase my first ever bottle of Metamucil. It was a low moment indeed when I stomped off to my corner Safeway to buy only this item and belately forgot to add in other items to cover said purchase until it was too late. With 3 other people cuing up behind me, I quickly grabbed some gum right before plopping down that bottle on the belt. Ugh! I know what 30 year old check out guy was thinking! “Stop looking at me funny jerk and quit asking me if I would like to enter my Safeway discount card #.” Right, like Metamucil is the BOGO of the week? I pulled mine right off the end cap, next to your Doritos display, NOT! At that moment, I didn’t care if my anger was unfairly directed at him. Go ahead, think a little less of me right now but I was not in a happy moment and I felt quite traumatized over the whole experience. Am I now ready for the early bird special, coffee with dinner(not after) and a game of pool side Canasta?
My 3rd doctor’s visit came 3 days later and I was armed with my question when we got to the “Do you have any questions or concerns” portion of the exam. After explaining my plight, the nurse practitioner calmly looked at my journal and made hmmm, uh hum sounds. Then she looked up and said I was not getting in enough water. What? I’m flooded already and building an Ark in the backyard as insurance. Was she crazy? She said all the liquids used in the shakes didn’t count towards the 64 oz nor did the sodas, coffee or tea I was currently consuming. Boost up my pure water intake and see what happens. Darn! Not happy with this answer but still having the need to be the good patient, I started implementing her plan. Grudging I admit she is not crazy and her plan has worked for me. The ship is back on course so to speak. Signing off today as your water logged and 11 lbs lighter friend.
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