Four days into my meat munching marathon, a nasty little side effect crept up on me. You guessed it, constipation. Why! Things were going so well. Yes, this was listed in the fine print as a potential risk but never in a million years did I think they meant that it could happen to me (I know I completely sound like a bad Lifetime Movie). How could this happen with the mass amounts of liquids flowing in and out of my body daily? I am in a constant race with my youngest son to the bathroom and a little ashamed to admit that I have used the power of my big bootie to gently nudge ahead of him a time or 2 into the downstairs bathroom. I only mention this side effect so others also venturing into a similar medical weight loss journey know this potential risk in advance.
I will not horrify you with the details but no longer will I openly mock commercials that begin with “Do you suffer from regularity?”. I have officially crossed over into the category of those who do and was forced to purchase my first ever bottle of Metamucil. It was a low moment indeed when I stomped off to my corner Safeway to buy only this item and belately forgot to add in other items to cover said purchase until it was too late. With 3 other people cuing up behind me, I quickly grabbed some gum right before plopping down that bottle on the belt. Ugh! I know what 30 year old check out guy was thinking! “Stop looking at me funny jerk and quit asking me if I would like to enter my Safeway discount card #.” Right, like Metamucil is the BOGO of the week? I pulled mine right off the end cap, next to your Doritos display, NOT! At that moment, I didn’t care if my anger was unfairly directed at him. Go ahead, think a little less of me right now but I was not in a happy moment and I felt quite traumatized over the whole experience. Am I now ready for the early bird special, coffee with dinner(not after) and a game of pool side Canasta?
My 3rd doctor’s visit came 3 days later and I was armed with my question when we got to the “Do you have any questions or concerns” portion of the exam. After explaining my plight, the nurse practitioner calmly looked at my journal and made hmmm, uh hum sounds. Then she looked up and said I was not getting in enough water. What? I’m flooded already and building an Ark in the backyard as insurance. Was she crazy? She said all the liquids used in the shakes didn’t count towards the 64 oz nor did the sodas, coffee or tea I was currently consuming. Boost up my pure water intake and see what happens. Darn! Not happy with this answer but still having the need to be the good patient, I started implementing her plan. Grudging I admit she is not crazy and her plan has worked for me. The ship is back on course so to speak. Signing off today as your water logged and 11 lbs lighter friend.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Day 11 – Give Me Something to Chew On
9 lbs lost…good bye! This week’s Dr. Appointment was magic. 9 whole pounds lost and the good Dr. seemed please with my progress. Neither of us mentioned the fact that much of my loss was most likely water as I played my role of excited patient and he the encouraging medical figure. Truly, I was just pleased that I didn’t pass out, throw up or get homicidal with coworkers between breakfast and the mid morning shake. Of course, the good doctor inquired to any potential side effects I might be experiencing with the Phentermine. I confirmed that, yes I had the classic dry mouth symptom and headaches but was adjusting to it quite nicely. It is a very small cross to bear indeed by comparison to the usual obsession with the next meal that has been lifted.
We were at the end of our chat when the good doctor indicated my trial hazing period was over and I was now allowed to put some real protein back into my diet. The first day I could add in 30 grams and then the 2nd day, 60 whole grams between 2 meals a day. 60 grams a day would then be maintained daily for the rest of the week. Wow, real “meat on a plate” protein never sounded so good! My reaction was surprising to me since I never considered any emotional attachment to meat before. A good burger on the rare occasion sounded good but beyond that, nope, never think of it.
My husband definitely has deeply rooted attachments to meat and dare I say separation anxiety if 6 hours have passed without at least an infusion of drive thru burger to sustain him. I really wouldn’t put it past him to sleep with a rib eye under his pillow if he could figure out how to get it in the bed without me seeing. But me? I have always been drawn to bread, chips and you guessed it, donuts. Now there was something to snuggle up too!
Rubbing my hands together with fresh new rules in my head and keen anticipation of gnawing on something substantial for lunch, I felt like a character out of Clan of the Cave Bear. Of course, I would be from the beautiful, tall yellow haired clan and not the short, flat headed brown hairs. I set forth to track down my prey at Whole Foods, replacing my spear with a very chic recycled grocery bag. This is California after all and one must look stylish and “green” while going on a hunt at Whole Foods. After several moments of drooling over the beautifully laid out meat and fish cases, I selected chicken breasts, tilapia, tuna and shrimp to start.
The result of adding these delicious chewable proteins into my diet 2 meals a day was the slowly ebbing feeling of constant hunger. Ingesting these 60 grams or 10 oz of chewable meat each day makes all the difference in the world. Imagine? No worries, my beloved Mocha, Chocolate, Vanilla and Strawberry shakes are still firmly planted in my daily routine. I think I will forever be cleaning my blender and my family is not appreciative of it whirling at 6 am. What is a hungry girl to do?
We were at the end of our chat when the good doctor indicated my trial hazing period was over and I was now allowed to put some real protein back into my diet. The first day I could add in 30 grams and then the 2nd day, 60 whole grams between 2 meals a day. 60 grams a day would then be maintained daily for the rest of the week. Wow, real “meat on a plate” protein never sounded so good! My reaction was surprising to me since I never considered any emotional attachment to meat before. A good burger on the rare occasion sounded good but beyond that, nope, never think of it.
My husband definitely has deeply rooted attachments to meat and dare I say separation anxiety if 6 hours have passed without at least an infusion of drive thru burger to sustain him. I really wouldn’t put it past him to sleep with a rib eye under his pillow if he could figure out how to get it in the bed without me seeing. But me? I have always been drawn to bread, chips and you guessed it, donuts. Now there was something to snuggle up too!
Rubbing my hands together with fresh new rules in my head and keen anticipation of gnawing on something substantial for lunch, I felt like a character out of Clan of the Cave Bear. Of course, I would be from the beautiful, tall yellow haired clan and not the short, flat headed brown hairs. I set forth to track down my prey at Whole Foods, replacing my spear with a very chic recycled grocery bag. This is California after all and one must look stylish and “green” while going on a hunt at Whole Foods. After several moments of drooling over the beautifully laid out meat and fish cases, I selected chicken breasts, tilapia, tuna and shrimp to start.
The result of adding these delicious chewable proteins into my diet 2 meals a day was the slowly ebbing feeling of constant hunger. Ingesting these 60 grams or 10 oz of chewable meat each day makes all the difference in the world. Imagine? No worries, my beloved Mocha, Chocolate, Vanilla and Strawberry shakes are still firmly planted in my daily routine. I think I will forever be cleaning my blender and my family is not appreciative of it whirling at 6 am. What is a hungry girl to do?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Day 8 – To Crab Feed or Not to Crab Feed?
Just rounding out Week 1 and along came the annual Little League Crab Feed. A moment of panic ensued. Should I go? All of our friends will be there and meeting for cocktails before hand. People will be having fun without me! I can’t eat or drink right now but never the less what to do??!! It was for a good cause, our little league after all. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
As sweat started to pearl on my brow, I had to get a grip and seriously snapped out of it. I said sister, “you are in no position to be facing a meal with a plastic bib and All You Can Eat in the title.” DANGER, DANGER!!! 7 days of hard work could be wiped out before the winning raffle ticket numbers were called.
Let’s talk seriously about the “All You Can Eat” phenomenon. No wonder we are so fat in this country. “All You Can Eat” to a compulsive over eater is a free pass to be completely insane in public.. I can pile 5 separate dinners, 2 slices of pizza and 3 desserts onto 1 buffet sized plate and no one thinks “Damn woman!”. While perusing all those fatty, carby choices, I approach an altered state where I do actually think that prime rib goes with mac n’cheese, chow mein, mashed potatoes and fried chicken. Can you imagine doing this at home? Of course, I would wash this down with 40 oz of Diet Coke for good measure. For those of you who might be self conscious with piling on enough food for a lumberjack and his 6 strapping sons, they created the “clean plate”. Ah, now you can sweep away all evidence and start out fresh. Who will notice your 15 trips to the buffet? This completely disconnects you from having to face that you downed 5 portions in one sitting. Don't even get me started on attempting to eat while still in the buffet line. The sad part is (I know, really only one?), the food generally is not that great. My sisters in compulsion know, this doesn’t matter one damn bit.
My family loves all you can eat restaurants so I have spent many of fine family gatherings in just such establishments around town. Naturally skinny people know how to handle this scenario. My dear sister-in-law for example will put 3 green beans and 2 pieces of sushi on the plate and declare she is stuffed when finished. Seriously? I’m baffled by this behavior. I have known her long enough to know she is earnest and not stuffing macaroons in her purse for later. All I can think is “Come on! You can do better than that! Make a dent! Get another plate. You paid for it!”
I give you all this background so that you understand sadly why my poor husband attended the Annual Little League Crab Feed as the only single in a party of 15. Whew! No EAP session or bib required. Yes!
As sweat started to pearl on my brow, I had to get a grip and seriously snapped out of it. I said sister, “you are in no position to be facing a meal with a plastic bib and All You Can Eat in the title.” DANGER, DANGER!!! 7 days of hard work could be wiped out before the winning raffle ticket numbers were called.
Let’s talk seriously about the “All You Can Eat” phenomenon. No wonder we are so fat in this country. “All You Can Eat” to a compulsive over eater is a free pass to be completely insane in public.. I can pile 5 separate dinners, 2 slices of pizza and 3 desserts onto 1 buffet sized plate and no one thinks “Damn woman!”. While perusing all those fatty, carby choices, I approach an altered state where I do actually think that prime rib goes with mac n’cheese, chow mein, mashed potatoes and fried chicken. Can you imagine doing this at home? Of course, I would wash this down with 40 oz of Diet Coke for good measure. For those of you who might be self conscious with piling on enough food for a lumberjack and his 6 strapping sons, they created the “clean plate”. Ah, now you can sweep away all evidence and start out fresh. Who will notice your 15 trips to the buffet? This completely disconnects you from having to face that you downed 5 portions in one sitting. Don't even get me started on attempting to eat while still in the buffet line. The sad part is (I know, really only one?), the food generally is not that great. My sisters in compulsion know, this doesn’t matter one damn bit.
My family loves all you can eat restaurants so I have spent many of fine family gatherings in just such establishments around town. Naturally skinny people know how to handle this scenario. My dear sister-in-law for example will put 3 green beans and 2 pieces of sushi on the plate and declare she is stuffed when finished. Seriously? I’m baffled by this behavior. I have known her long enough to know she is earnest and not stuffing macaroons in her purse for later. All I can think is “Come on! You can do better than that! Make a dent! Get another plate. You paid for it!”
I give you all this background so that you understand sadly why my poor husband attended the Annual Little League Crab Feed as the only single in a party of 15. Whew! No EAP session or bib required. Yes!
Friday, March 5, 2010
Week 1 Finished - 5 lbs
I am happy to report today that I am officially down 5 pounds and I can start putting protein back into dinner now! This makes for a very happy Friday!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Day 6 - Soy Crunchy Snack Defense!
Is starvation a legal defense for murder? If a twinkie, why not crazed hunger or soy crunchy snacks defense? I curse the front desk girl who I so willingly put my trust into helping me plan out my menu and product requirements for the week! My rampage began shortly before bed last night with the blending of my last shake of the day. I went to pack up my stuff for the evening and plan the next day’s eating (drinking, come on who are kidding) strategy when low and behold in my cabinet - OH MY GOD I AM OUT OF FOOD!!!!! Panic, panic, panic - I don’t have enough product to make it to my appointment Friday afternoon. AND what I do have left are those crappy soy crunchy snacks that when sampled by 1-2 last week in a paper cup tasted ok. In bulk they are so disgusting I have to gulp down with water they are so bad. Yuck, yuck pooey! Now I have to eat these for breakfast on Friday as the last packet of protein available in my house and then what?? I curse the check out girl, I do!!! Maybe someone should come with me on Friday to ensure I don’t suddenly get slapped with a restraining order. Feel my wrath check out girl!
Ok, need to get talked off the ledge and go call in my neighborhood expert on what to use for 2 snacks and a lunch until I can get more product. I sound like a crack addict looking to score a drug deal for god sakes! My fury stems from the fact that for the first time on THE hardest program I have ever been on, I haven’t deviated from the prescribed program. Not 1 drop, lick, taste or bite of anything! Is ensuring a newbee has exactly 69 packets or more too much to ask as a process improvement check out girl?
Later that morning…..
Ok, panic over. In a brief moment of clarity, I called the good Dr and requested to move my appointment to this afternoon. They quickly accommodated me. The hint of homicide must have been in my voice.
Ok, need to get talked off the ledge and go call in my neighborhood expert on what to use for 2 snacks and a lunch until I can get more product. I sound like a crack addict looking to score a drug deal for god sakes! My fury stems from the fact that for the first time on THE hardest program I have ever been on, I haven’t deviated from the prescribed program. Not 1 drop, lick, taste or bite of anything! Is ensuring a newbee has exactly 69 packets or more too much to ask as a process improvement check out girl?
Later that morning…..
Ok, panic over. In a brief moment of clarity, I called the good Dr and requested to move my appointment to this afternoon. They quickly accommodated me. The hint of homicide must have been in my voice.
Days 4-5 S-T-A-R-V-E-D!!!!
Apparently the Honeymoon period of being fulfilled on 1300 calories was abruptly over by Day 4. Of course, part of it could be that I really can’t remember the last time I was actually hungry, like really hungry. Oh, I thought I was hungry before rest assured but when I say hungry now I mean stomach growling, light headed, wanting to go to bed at 7pm so I won’t eat kind of hungry. Unless I am actually drinking the shake at that very moment, this is somewhat of a constant state. Consulting my trusty packet, this is supposedly all very normal the first 2 weeks. Thanks Courtney for confirming this for me yesterday and for checking up on me!
The only thing that I have found that curbs this weirdly enough is aerobic exercise and about 100 ml of water to the day. For some reason, this seems to take the edge off? If this keeps up I will need to move my home office to the bathroom to save time.
The only thing that I have found that curbs this weirdly enough is aerobic exercise and about 100 ml of water to the day. For some reason, this seems to take the edge off? If this keeps up I will need to move my home office to the bathroom to save time.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Overnight Guests and Detox, do they mix?
Just to add another layer of difficulty during "Detox Weekend", we had the pleasure of an out of town guest staying in our home. Crazy, I know but when I am ready to make a change it needs to happen Now, Right Now! Of course I can’t wait 2 days! Anyone who has an obsessive compulsive personality or is living with one, knows that any rational arguments with said crazy person on a rampage are futile. My husband didn’t even attempt it.
Our out of town guest turned out to be a Neuroscientist who’s life’s work is managing her own brain imaging and research lab. Of all the dream guests plunked on our porch, she would be my top pick for understanding chemical impacts of withdrawal on the brain. I had never met her before this weekend, so I gave her my limited liability boiler plate to sign and of course, my apologies upfront. As expected, she was very understanding. She never once commented on my nasty pickle breath or need to suck on bouillon cubes. She even explained why my Dr. was carefully prescribing certain levels of sodium, potassium and magnesium and their collaborative effects and necessary presence for proper brain function.
Our guest’s particular area of study is children with Autism and Aspergers Syndrome. I was extremely inspired by her work and vision for research in this space. However, bringing it back to “all about me” my thoughts wondered to what the brain of a sugar/carb addict would look like on the MRI? What does the brain show when the cycle of food obsession, binge, remorse and extreme guilt look like? Can it be mapped to an image? Do our brains look different from “normal brains”? Would this cycle show the rollercoaster I feel or would just a big plate of nachos show up on her screen? Given the alarming rate of growth in obesity in this country, I am sure this area of study is underway. If anyone knows of any, please let me know.
Our out of town guest turned out to be a Neuroscientist who’s life’s work is managing her own brain imaging and research lab. Of all the dream guests plunked on our porch, she would be my top pick for understanding chemical impacts of withdrawal on the brain. I had never met her before this weekend, so I gave her my limited liability boiler plate to sign and of course, my apologies upfront. As expected, she was very understanding. She never once commented on my nasty pickle breath or need to suck on bouillon cubes. She even explained why my Dr. was carefully prescribing certain levels of sodium, potassium and magnesium and their collaborative effects and necessary presence for proper brain function.
Our guest’s particular area of study is children with Autism and Aspergers Syndrome. I was extremely inspired by her work and vision for research in this space. However, bringing it back to “all about me” my thoughts wondered to what the brain of a sugar/carb addict would look like on the MRI? What does the brain show when the cycle of food obsession, binge, remorse and extreme guilt look like? Can it be mapped to an image? Do our brains look different from “normal brains”? Would this cycle show the rollercoaster I feel or would just a big plate of nachos show up on her screen? Given the alarming rate of growth in obesity in this country, I am sure this area of study is underway. If anyone knows of any, please let me know.
Day 2-3 the Wicked Witch of Withdrawal?
I’d love to regale you with tales of the mayhem causing Detox the Destroyer! My family was on hyper alert and it was obvious that my husband debriefed his little troops in emergency planning. I wouldn’t put it past him to have developed hand signals, secret codes and exit strategies if I were to loose it. I also anticipated and respect the need for a good disaster recovery plan. This isn’t my (our) first time giving up sugar and carbs. It is however the first time it has been done with such abruptness.
I am happy to report that this past weekend was surprisingly, well, not bad. I had a few moments of light headedness, snappiness and a fleeting moment Saturday night where thoughts of how my headboard would taste entered my consciousness. However, no codes against the family emergency plans were called to my knowledge.
It was a bit overwhelming attempting to ingest 9 packets of powdered protein shakes, soups and crunchies things called soy snacks (gross!) AND 48 oz of water AND the minerals AND the Phentermine all at the correct times. Not to mention the 20 grams of veggies and fats! Talk about non stop eating without fulfillment. My world once again felt like it revolved around eating with no guilt and the added bonus of 500 daily bathroom breaks. Spending the day with me is like spending the day with a potty training toddler. All activities must occur within a 50 ft radius of a bathroom. No one said anything about increased expenses for Charmin!
I am happy to report that this past weekend was surprisingly, well, not bad. I had a few moments of light headedness, snappiness and a fleeting moment Saturday night where thoughts of how my headboard would taste entered my consciousness. However, no codes against the family emergency plans were called to my knowledge.
It was a bit overwhelming attempting to ingest 9 packets of powdered protein shakes, soups and crunchies things called soy snacks (gross!) AND 48 oz of water AND the minerals AND the Phentermine all at the correct times. Not to mention the 20 grams of veggies and fats! Talk about non stop eating without fulfillment. My world once again felt like it revolved around eating with no guilt and the added bonus of 500 daily bathroom breaks. Spending the day with me is like spending the day with a potty training toddler. All activities must occur within a 50 ft radius of a bathroom. No one said anything about increased expenses for Charmin!
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