29 lbs lost
Day of the big race! My first official attempt running a 5K! Yippie! I have been anticipating this for weeks but first I must drop in for my official Week 2 weigh of Biggest Looser contest. Walking into the gym, I slow to see a crappy Dr.’s office scale in place of the fabulous In Body Analysis scale from the previous 2 weeks. What happened? We were told that the other scale was a loner and we won’t get it back until closer to the end of the competition. To make matters worse, I heard grumblings from those weighing ahead of me that the new scale was weighing heavier than the last. Sure enough, I only saw a 2 lb loss when my scale at home said 4. Cranky! This once again put me behind in the weigh in and lands me in the 4th place spot. 4th place does not buy shakes people! My fabulous friend however crept into the #1 spot. I am very happy for her and would be even more delighted by her results if it didn’t negatively impact me. My husband is ashamed of me and I can’t say I blame him. Look what dangling a cash prize in front of me does to bring out the competitiveness. There is an Ashram somewhere that has my name booked for a future enlightenment session I’m sure but for now, game on.
I spent the day getting ready for the big race. I create an upbeat playlist for my iPod, put in my sparkly donut earrings and donned “Red Team” attire in honor of the Fitness Challenge. Of course, I have told everyone who I happen to have come in contact with over the past weeks that I was going to run the race. Everyone was rooting me on and I had visions of confetti as I crossed the finish line.
Then right before the race, a bad omen as the back to my one of my beloved sparkly donut earring fell off into the grass when I put head phones on. Oh no! Frantically rooting in the grass, it was not to be located in time. Now I would have to run the race without out my donuts. What’s a diva without her donuts? Just a bitch! Yikes!
The starting buzzer went off and I started off strong for about the first quarter mile. Then it got hard, I mean really hard. It was so much harder running outside than on the treadmill. I knew this would happen as I was just telling my neighbor last week this very same thing as she was treadmill running in prep for the race. Did I seriously think I would be exempt from this phenomenon? I felt every falling steps impact on my left dodgy knee. Not good as the dream of confetti filled finish line began to slip away. What started out as a best intention to run the entire race left me in an all out struggle to make it to the 1 mile mark. I am very sad to say that I had to stop short of the first mile marker due to the pain in my knee and general feeling of eminent death chasing my tail with no crash cart nearby.
Now I was deflated with the realization that my stint as running Goddess was squelched before my first debut. Nike would not be calling me to represent their next running shoe. Mostly, I was disappointed that this was the first real failed goal put forth on this journey. It’s not really about the running at all since I still hate it with a passion. It’s about missed expectations and humility. The added bonus of now having this failure very public was just icing on the donut. Note to self, limit sharing of huge goal with every person in the city until sure goal is at least attainable. Think dry run next time. I had no time to personally digest this failure for friends ran by raising their hands in question upon seeing me walk. I couldn’t come up with any good quips due to the lack of breath and no place for the “Snappy Come Backs” handbook in my exercise pants.
Digging in with head held high, I am me after all and lest anyone forget, this was still my moment, I walked. Waddling in my failure was for much later in bathtub sipping a protein shake. I hauled butt walking as fast as I could with the new goal to at least make a respectable time. Zipping around several 3rd graders who dawdled in the sunshine on the path in front of me clearly have a good time, I looked around for my kids. This was a family fun run after all where did my family go? Scratch that, at least where did my kids go since I knew my husband was most certainly not walking on the trail. He prefers to run the event not participate in any actual physical activity.
My oldest son was no where in sight as he jetted off at the starting buzzer. He came into view on his way back to the finish line looking determined to pull a good time. He did in fact finish in a great time of 32:58 to be exact. Awesome job! My youngest son and many of his friends kept right around me the rest of the way occasionally running ahead or lollygagging slightly behind. Their cute little sweaty red faces just smiling away completely oblivious of any disappointments in the day. To them, there was no better way to spend a Friday evening. We finished up fairly close together and my time was adequate but I don’t think much better than last year’s race where I walked it. Unlike last year however, this year ended in a terrible allergy attack and a subsequent visit to Urgent Care the next day. I drove the pharmacist nuts making her look up the potential side effects between Albuterol and Phentermine. My toxic reaction to the nature preserve in spring did however allow me to slip away from the event a bit early and regroup.
It is with a bit of sadness that I write this entry as I so want to provide happy ending for y’all. I am reminded that we did say from the beginning that this would be an adventure of honesty in the battle of the bulge with occasional bumps and bruises along the way. On a positive note, my bruises that day didn’t end in the usual pattern of “oh f@#$ it” then eat something fatty and creamy. I certainly had ample opportunity to dive into a cheesy pizza that night while at the pizza parlor. I stuck to the chicken salad and replaced emotional eating with brooding. Perhaps I just misunderstood my inner voice a few weeks earlier on the treadmill? As I haven’t heard it since, maybe I did.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Day 71 Combat!
26 lbs lost
I am having a blast this week throwing myself into all these new fitness classes at the gym AND getting my treadmill running miles up to 3 miles! Yippee! I think I might actually be able to run that 5K coming up next week. Now that my 10 lb water weight has come off, I am settling into becoming workout goddess. I am sad to report ladies that I did not win the first week’s weigh in. Two other contestants topped me at 4+ percentage loss. Big sigh, but I am not too discouraged and I know I came into the competition already down 25 lbs. My initial first week’s honeymoon period of rapid weight loss is long gone. To my friend and fellow reader, good job getting the #2 spot. Be sure to keep a watchful eye over your left shoulder as I creep up on you like a ninja!
I am making huge strides in fitness level as I can actually get through all the classes with only fleeting moments of nausea. However, my body is revolting all the exercise with nightly appearances of Charlie Horses and now a strained hamstring. The price I pay for competition. Not daunted, I am taking to packing my various body parts in ice after each workout. I am also not above whimpering to my husband until he rubs out my calf and hamstring each night.
Along comes Friday and I decide to try a Combat Class. Hmm, ok sounds violent. I get in there and the instructor straps on her gloves. My interest is even more piqued. We start to add in boxing moves. Upper cuts, jabs, back kicks and then the round house kick! Wow, now this is really out of my box. Then the instructor starts to scream at us to sharpen our moves and hit harder. “Make them hurt! Kick their head! Don’t let them stand up!” Wow this IS violent. About 15 minutes in I start to get into it with each jab and upper cut as Eye of the Tiger starts loop reeling as the sound track in my brain. All other class participants fall away.
I am transported to the jungle and morph into Laura Croft type character. My high heeled, thigh high lug boots crunch fallen leaves on the jungle floor. As I turn around, braid swishing, it is abundantly clear that I am not alone. I turn to find my evil sparing partner, the witch from work whom I can’t stand is conveniently in the same jungle with me! Finally, justice will be served! I round house kick her in the stomach where with a grunt, she falls hard to the ground. Like a cat, she springs back up. Even in my fantasy she is a pain in the butt. I dodge her upper cut only to complete a powerful combination of right jab, upper cut, knee to the gut, head slam! This time she drops like a stone to the ground with a thud, a little trickle of blood oozing out of her upper lip. She’s outta here!
Oh that was so fun too bad I can’t knock her out for real or that I look that fabulous in thigh high lug boots and kaki short shorts….There’s always next class to kick her ass again.
I am having a blast this week throwing myself into all these new fitness classes at the gym AND getting my treadmill running miles up to 3 miles! Yippee! I think I might actually be able to run that 5K coming up next week. Now that my 10 lb water weight has come off, I am settling into becoming workout goddess. I am sad to report ladies that I did not win the first week’s weigh in. Two other contestants topped me at 4+ percentage loss. Big sigh, but I am not too discouraged and I know I came into the competition already down 25 lbs. My initial first week’s honeymoon period of rapid weight loss is long gone. To my friend and fellow reader, good job getting the #2 spot. Be sure to keep a watchful eye over your left shoulder as I creep up on you like a ninja!
I am making huge strides in fitness level as I can actually get through all the classes with only fleeting moments of nausea. However, my body is revolting all the exercise with nightly appearances of Charlie Horses and now a strained hamstring. The price I pay for competition. Not daunted, I am taking to packing my various body parts in ice after each workout. I am also not above whimpering to my husband until he rubs out my calf and hamstring each night.
Along comes Friday and I decide to try a Combat Class. Hmm, ok sounds violent. I get in there and the instructor straps on her gloves. My interest is even more piqued. We start to add in boxing moves. Upper cuts, jabs, back kicks and then the round house kick! Wow, now this is really out of my box. Then the instructor starts to scream at us to sharpen our moves and hit harder. “Make them hurt! Kick their head! Don’t let them stand up!” Wow this IS violent. About 15 minutes in I start to get into it with each jab and upper cut as Eye of the Tiger starts loop reeling as the sound track in my brain. All other class participants fall away.
I am transported to the jungle and morph into Laura Croft type character. My high heeled, thigh high lug boots crunch fallen leaves on the jungle floor. As I turn around, braid swishing, it is abundantly clear that I am not alone. I turn to find my evil sparing partner, the witch from work whom I can’t stand is conveniently in the same jungle with me! Finally, justice will be served! I round house kick her in the stomach where with a grunt, she falls hard to the ground. Like a cat, she springs back up. Even in my fantasy she is a pain in the butt. I dodge her upper cut only to complete a powerful combination of right jab, upper cut, knee to the gut, head slam! This time she drops like a stone to the ground with a thud, a little trickle of blood oozing out of her upper lip. She’s outta here!
Oh that was so fun too bad I can’t knock her out for real or that I look that fabulous in thigh high lug boots and kaki short shorts….There’s always next class to kick her ass again.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Day 64 Are You the Next Biggest Looser?
10.1 lbs gained
High off my mile + run I am ready for the next hurdle on the fitness ladder “The Biggest Looser Challenge”. Two months ago, I promised a friend that I would join a sanctioned Biggest Looser team challenge at her gym. Since BL is my most favorite show on TV, how could I resist? It is the perfect blend of drama, conniving characters, and stunning transformations all rolled into 1 hour. Let’s not forget the added bonus of torturing fat people through mind numbing workouts and total exploitation of personal pain as each contestant exposes their personal rock bottoms for millions to see. It is the ultimate guilty pleasure for us viewers. Of course some of us eat through the entire show each week, not to name names of course. Really? So weird!
Our local challenge will consist of 3 teams with my team being the Red Team under the fearless leadership of my friend. She has committing mind, body and soul to making the 8 weeks of torture “fun and motivating for all!”. We are wearing red, putting “Go Red” bumper stickers on our cars and some team members have even gone so far to dye their hair red. My friend’s RED enthusiasm stems from her own success in the last challenge. 26 lbs lighter, she is now officially the AFTER of the Before & After. Once again I am inspired. In my mind, the challenge will motivate me through the next 20 lbs as the Good Dr. recommended I stagger goals every 3 months to keep me motivated. I even talked a few long time friends into signing up with me. Maybe it will be “fun and motivating” after all.
Sign up day rolls around and I noticed the sign indicating a $500 first place prize. Now this caught my attention. Hmm…that could buy me a few weeks of protein shakes. Given that I have cashed in my very last stock option for shakes, $500 would be a welcome infusion to keep my blender running until my birthday. Impressed with my jogging success and now the added financially motivation, I feel the tingle of competition begin to seep into my bones. In the span of a few minutes I went from working on my next 20 lbs to total gym domination with winners t-shirt already made up! I started some casual research and found out that last season’s winner dropped 18% body weight. I ran out to my car and pulled out my calculator app on my phone and did a double take. Seeing the freshly calculated pound conversion displayed on my phone was staggering. Oh, shit, 32 lbs in 8 weeks! I am not on the Ranch! I have a life, kids, job, no Bob or Gillian and important things to do besides workout! AND, completely unlike the Ranch, this gym is fully of tiny, already fit and trim workout people. To them, 15 lbs is 20%. What to do? Need a plan…..
I shared my dilemma with my husband later that night and he suggested I level the playing field a bit. Ok? There was no way I was shoving any high fat/calorie food in my mouth after all the hard work and expense thus far. Now what? We debated several options and finally determined that I would need to go into the first weigh in 8-10 lbs heavier than I am now to have any chance. Visions of snow suits, lug boots and oh wait, bullet proof vest pop into my head! Hey wait, aren’t those really heavy but don’t show under clothes? I have a cop in the family, perhaps he could loan me one for the weigh in. Can you see me on the scale with shades, packin’ a bullet proof vest and some heat which in this case is my big ass! Nice! I was really enjoying the fantasy until my husband ruled out this option. Aww, no fun! He first cited that I was a L-U-N-A-T-I-I-C. Whatever, old news, geez! Then he made the more relevant point of me running the risk of being disqualified for cheating. Alright, I sadly thought, no bullet proof vest. Now as that option was blown, we reached into the Biggest Looser episode archives for the classic water loading trick. Ok this could work…. If I triple my sodium intake 24 hrs before the weigh in and start chugging water, I could pack on some pounds without actually gaining any weight! Genius! I had the fleeting thought of me looking like an Oompa Loompa as I roll on up to the scale.
Guilt set in for the shenanigan I was about to pull. What about total honest and integrity? I had to keep reminding myself that this was just game play. I bet many others were partaking in similar efforts. Wow, I’m convincing! After a while it sounded stupid not too.
On the day of the weigh 3 days later, I have consumed 10 pickles, 3 bouillon cubes and about 100 oz water. I am literally sloshing through the parking lot as I walk to the gym and oh God, I have to pee. I pushed myself to the front of the weigh in line ‘cause I thought my bladder would burst any minute. I am happy to report that I packed on a whopping 10.1 lbs in 24 hrs. Ha! Game on!
High off my mile + run I am ready for the next hurdle on the fitness ladder “The Biggest Looser Challenge”. Two months ago, I promised a friend that I would join a sanctioned Biggest Looser team challenge at her gym. Since BL is my most favorite show on TV, how could I resist? It is the perfect blend of drama, conniving characters, and stunning transformations all rolled into 1 hour. Let’s not forget the added bonus of torturing fat people through mind numbing workouts and total exploitation of personal pain as each contestant exposes their personal rock bottoms for millions to see. It is the ultimate guilty pleasure for us viewers. Of course some of us eat through the entire show each week, not to name names of course. Really? So weird!
Our local challenge will consist of 3 teams with my team being the Red Team under the fearless leadership of my friend. She has committing mind, body and soul to making the 8 weeks of torture “fun and motivating for all!”. We are wearing red, putting “Go Red” bumper stickers on our cars and some team members have even gone so far to dye their hair red. My friend’s RED enthusiasm stems from her own success in the last challenge. 26 lbs lighter, she is now officially the AFTER of the Before & After. Once again I am inspired. In my mind, the challenge will motivate me through the next 20 lbs as the Good Dr. recommended I stagger goals every 3 months to keep me motivated. I even talked a few long time friends into signing up with me. Maybe it will be “fun and motivating” after all.
Sign up day rolls around and I noticed the sign indicating a $500 first place prize. Now this caught my attention. Hmm…that could buy me a few weeks of protein shakes. Given that I have cashed in my very last stock option for shakes, $500 would be a welcome infusion to keep my blender running until my birthday. Impressed with my jogging success and now the added financially motivation, I feel the tingle of competition begin to seep into my bones. In the span of a few minutes I went from working on my next 20 lbs to total gym domination with winners t-shirt already made up! I started some casual research and found out that last season’s winner dropped 18% body weight. I ran out to my car and pulled out my calculator app on my phone and did a double take. Seeing the freshly calculated pound conversion displayed on my phone was staggering. Oh, shit, 32 lbs in 8 weeks! I am not on the Ranch! I have a life, kids, job, no Bob or Gillian and important things to do besides workout! AND, completely unlike the Ranch, this gym is fully of tiny, already fit and trim workout people. To them, 15 lbs is 20%. What to do? Need a plan…..
I shared my dilemma with my husband later that night and he suggested I level the playing field a bit. Ok? There was no way I was shoving any high fat/calorie food in my mouth after all the hard work and expense thus far. Now what? We debated several options and finally determined that I would need to go into the first weigh in 8-10 lbs heavier than I am now to have any chance. Visions of snow suits, lug boots and oh wait, bullet proof vest pop into my head! Hey wait, aren’t those really heavy but don’t show under clothes? I have a cop in the family, perhaps he could loan me one for the weigh in. Can you see me on the scale with shades, packin’ a bullet proof vest and some heat which in this case is my big ass! Nice! I was really enjoying the fantasy until my husband ruled out this option. Aww, no fun! He first cited that I was a L-U-N-A-T-I-I-C. Whatever, old news, geez! Then he made the more relevant point of me running the risk of being disqualified for cheating. Alright, I sadly thought, no bullet proof vest. Now as that option was blown, we reached into the Biggest Looser episode archives for the classic water loading trick. Ok this could work…. If I triple my sodium intake 24 hrs before the weigh in and start chugging water, I could pack on some pounds without actually gaining any weight! Genius! I had the fleeting thought of me looking like an Oompa Loompa as I roll on up to the scale.
Guilt set in for the shenanigan I was about to pull. What about total honest and integrity? I had to keep reminding myself that this was just game play. I bet many others were partaking in similar efforts. Wow, I’m convincing! After a while it sounded stupid not too.
On the day of the weigh 3 days later, I have consumed 10 pickles, 3 bouillon cubes and about 100 oz water. I am literally sloshing through the parking lot as I walk to the gym and oh God, I have to pee. I pushed myself to the front of the weigh in line ‘cause I thought my bladder would burst any minute. I am happy to report that I packed on a whopping 10.1 lbs in 24 hrs. Ha! Game on!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Day 60 – To Run a Mile in My Shoes
25 lbs lost
First off, thank you to fabulous friend who gave me ever so cute pink sprinkle donut earrings. They are my new treasure that I wear at the gym. Hee hee!
Ok Day 60, I am in the zone. Just ticking along now with my eating regime like a Hollywood Starlett. “Carbs? What? I don’t eat those?” I am feeling good about my success thus far on the journey. One key area I continue to work is the implementation of exercise in my daily life. Each day I wake up and yearn to see myself as an athletic person. This has never been my paradigm. I’m a reader, a home improvement junky, hard worker but definitely not an athlete. Completing a marathon and over 500 miles of training did not change this perception of me for me. Each time I have ventured to loose weight before I have exercised only to stop somewhere along the way. I don’t crave it and definitely up to this point do not see it as a part of who I am. Oh, you know those people who do. Exercising at god awful times in the morning or in climate weather. Disciplined and focused like they require it to breathe or something. I am of course only speculating as I stated earlier, do not share this passion.
Up to this point of this particular journey, I had been getting in 3 days a week of either cardio machines or walking with friends on the weekends. Our happy walking group was even treated to a private viewing of a wild turkey mating dance on one of our last jaunts. If my perception of the situation was correct, Tom was getting lucky that night with his moves!
Monday morning rolled around and I headed to the gym to hit the treadmill. About 3 minutes into a hill cycle, a thought streamed into my head. Run. What? I put it aside. 10 seconds later, there it was again. Run. Perplexed a bit, I got a little rush of excitement. Running is not listed as one of the acceptable activities in my box so imagine my intrigue. Not once in the past 20 years has this thought ever crossed my mind before. In fact, I have been through 2 personal trainers who suggested the same. Both received a verbal pimp slap as I promptly discounted their suggestion. Must have worked too since neither of them ever suggested it again. I don’t run unless being chased and seriously depends upon who’s doing the chasing or how badly I don’t want to get caught.
But there was this thought floating up from the subconscious again not in mockery, with force or judgment, just simply Run. Somehow it slipped inside my clearly defined parameter of self just patiently waiting for me to convert thought into action.
I scanned the cardio room to see if anyone was watching and kicked up the machine before I could rethink. I Ran. Two minutes. Three minutes. Hmm, I wasn’t dying yet. Interested, I kept going. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 14 minutes and then I saw the machine hit the mile mark. I cracked what must have been the goofiest of smiles as I still didn’t feel done. Crazy, this was my first mile since PE in the 9th grade and I wasn’t tired yet? I kept going until I reached 1.5 miles. This was the first inkling that maybe just maybe I could stretch my box a bit to accommodate a new perception of self. This was definitely new.
One of my key goals when starting this adventure was not really to wear a smaller size, look good or even to feel better. Ok, all fabulous benefits of course but what I wanted was to learn something new about my self to finally tackle this beast. There was also another secret little dream, to be able to roller skate outside by my birthday. What? Yes, you read that right. I know I just lost about half of you at this point as this may not coincide with your own goals. The other half of you are shaking your heads smiling as I know you can see this vision.
Why skating? It is not due to a pent up passion for leg warmers however nice they may be. It’s not even a secret fantasy to join the derby circuit. Skating was my absolute most favorite activity as a kid. Every Saturday for years I got to lace up my boots and roll around the rink for a few hours. It always made me feel amazing. I loved the speed, maneuverability and how you could feel every muscle in your lower half working together to keep you moving in a forward trajectory. Unless of course you chose to skate backwards! Pure joy. For you, these feelings maybe invoked through many other very fine activities. May it be biking, running or even kayaking! For me, it’s skating. That 1.5 mile run on the treadmill was the first glimmer that maybe my secret dream of skating with full protective gear and helmet could be an actual reality by my birthday. I will have to get around my husband first who thinks I will kill myself attempting this feat. Minor obstacle as one shot with crazy eyes will do the trick.
Back to the treadmill no, running did not give me this same feeling as skating! Come on, be real. It’s still me and it was still running and no big bad dude in curlers was chasing me through a Detroit bus station (another story, another time). It was major hideous but the point was, I didn’t die and it was definitely something new. It was definitely outside my typical yo-yo pattern. I have even done it again since knocking out 1.75 miles with plans to run 2 miles of a 5K next Friday. Imagine that! Wish I could skate it instead ;) For now, I settle with running.
First off, thank you to fabulous friend who gave me ever so cute pink sprinkle donut earrings. They are my new treasure that I wear at the gym. Hee hee!
Ok Day 60, I am in the zone. Just ticking along now with my eating regime like a Hollywood Starlett. “Carbs? What? I don’t eat those?” I am feeling good about my success thus far on the journey. One key area I continue to work is the implementation of exercise in my daily life. Each day I wake up and yearn to see myself as an athletic person. This has never been my paradigm. I’m a reader, a home improvement junky, hard worker but definitely not an athlete. Completing a marathon and over 500 miles of training did not change this perception of me for me. Each time I have ventured to loose weight before I have exercised only to stop somewhere along the way. I don’t crave it and definitely up to this point do not see it as a part of who I am. Oh, you know those people who do. Exercising at god awful times in the morning or in climate weather. Disciplined and focused like they require it to breathe or something. I am of course only speculating as I stated earlier, do not share this passion.
Up to this point of this particular journey, I had been getting in 3 days a week of either cardio machines or walking with friends on the weekends. Our happy walking group was even treated to a private viewing of a wild turkey mating dance on one of our last jaunts. If my perception of the situation was correct, Tom was getting lucky that night with his moves!
Monday morning rolled around and I headed to the gym to hit the treadmill. About 3 minutes into a hill cycle, a thought streamed into my head. Run. What? I put it aside. 10 seconds later, there it was again. Run. Perplexed a bit, I got a little rush of excitement. Running is not listed as one of the acceptable activities in my box so imagine my intrigue. Not once in the past 20 years has this thought ever crossed my mind before. In fact, I have been through 2 personal trainers who suggested the same. Both received a verbal pimp slap as I promptly discounted their suggestion. Must have worked too since neither of them ever suggested it again. I don’t run unless being chased and seriously depends upon who’s doing the chasing or how badly I don’t want to get caught.
But there was this thought floating up from the subconscious again not in mockery, with force or judgment, just simply Run. Somehow it slipped inside my clearly defined parameter of self just patiently waiting for me to convert thought into action.
I scanned the cardio room to see if anyone was watching and kicked up the machine before I could rethink. I Ran. Two minutes. Three minutes. Hmm, I wasn’t dying yet. Interested, I kept going. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 14 minutes and then I saw the machine hit the mile mark. I cracked what must have been the goofiest of smiles as I still didn’t feel done. Crazy, this was my first mile since PE in the 9th grade and I wasn’t tired yet? I kept going until I reached 1.5 miles. This was the first inkling that maybe just maybe I could stretch my box a bit to accommodate a new perception of self. This was definitely new.
One of my key goals when starting this adventure was not really to wear a smaller size, look good or even to feel better. Ok, all fabulous benefits of course but what I wanted was to learn something new about my self to finally tackle this beast. There was also another secret little dream, to be able to roller skate outside by my birthday. What? Yes, you read that right. I know I just lost about half of you at this point as this may not coincide with your own goals. The other half of you are shaking your heads smiling as I know you can see this vision.
Why skating? It is not due to a pent up passion for leg warmers however nice they may be. It’s not even a secret fantasy to join the derby circuit. Skating was my absolute most favorite activity as a kid. Every Saturday for years I got to lace up my boots and roll around the rink for a few hours. It always made me feel amazing. I loved the speed, maneuverability and how you could feel every muscle in your lower half working together to keep you moving in a forward trajectory. Unless of course you chose to skate backwards! Pure joy. For you, these feelings maybe invoked through many other very fine activities. May it be biking, running or even kayaking! For me, it’s skating. That 1.5 mile run on the treadmill was the first glimmer that maybe my secret dream of skating with full protective gear and helmet could be an actual reality by my birthday. I will have to get around my husband first who thinks I will kill myself attempting this feat. Minor obstacle as one shot with crazy eyes will do the trick.
Back to the treadmill no, running did not give me this same feeling as skating! Come on, be real. It’s still me and it was still running and no big bad dude in curlers was chasing me through a Detroit bus station (another story, another time). It was major hideous but the point was, I didn’t die and it was definitely something new. It was definitely outside my typical yo-yo pattern. I have even done it again since knocking out 1.75 miles with plans to run 2 miles of a 5K next Friday. Imagine that! Wish I could skate it instead ;) For now, I settle with running.
Day 50 Dangerous Liaisons - Sufferin’ Sucralose!
22 lbs lost
Rolling along in my 7th week I must admit that I have had a few little binges. I discovered right before our vacation that Sugar Free Life Savers taste great and take away the yucky dry mouth feeling caused by the Phentermine. Dream product! So a few times I indulged in 2 or say 15 at a time. It took 3 separate Life Saver liaisons before linking those delicious hard candies to the raging gastrointestinal storms that ensued shortly after said liaison. The first time, I thought for sure I had food poisoning since my youngest was also having tummy problems. Imodium was my friend that day as I weathered the moderate storm. Second round was 4 days later during an outing of the Broadway production of Little House on the Prairie. The entire performance my stomach was churning so loudly and painfully that I actually thought I might explode all over the 2nd tier. Unfortunate situation for friend sitting next to me in the dark theater. I couldn’t tell you what was worse, the sound of my rumblings or the subpar singing of Melissa Gilbert as Ma Ingles. My friend leaned over and suggested perhaps my stomach was beginning to eat itself from the inside out due to the crazy protein diet? She really got me thinking then as doubt began to creep in. Could it be?
Another 3 days passed before my last and most heated Life Saver Liaison with a family sized bag. 30 minutes after bag completion, my brain began picking up on the pattern my stomach was now feeling. The connection was solidified after 5 hours of deep thought induced by a night spent in the bathroom. Damn, the jig is up and I have to end another affair! So sad. Why can’t I be addicted to exercise, scrap booking or even beanie baby collecting? Ok, it’s creepy but at least not harmful to one’s health. What is an obsessive compulsive to do without a binge buddy?
At 3 am I dug the empty bag out of the trash and read the very fine print “Contains Sucralose. Over consumption of product has a laxative effect”. Well shit, there you have it. I will take it upon myself to write Wrigley’s with a suggested warning change. My version would read “Caution excessive use of product is comparable to gastric effects caused by ingesting Tijuana street taco due to poor tequila induced judgment call. Think you, taco and Tijuana bathroom facilities before eating more than 2.” This would at least be more helpful in warding off would be bingers.
Needless to say, the dangerous liaison is over. Why are those evil chemicals in products sold over the counter to diabetics and children? I went back to chewing Eclipse gum and feeling quite put out to have not found a substitute yet. Whatever, blah, blah, blah I know I should reach deep and stop binging all together. Not ready for that much personal growth yet and frankly there is no money left for qualified therapist until my protein shake consumption subsides. Until then, trolling for a new buddy….
Rolling along in my 7th week I must admit that I have had a few little binges. I discovered right before our vacation that Sugar Free Life Savers taste great and take away the yucky dry mouth feeling caused by the Phentermine. Dream product! So a few times I indulged in 2 or say 15 at a time. It took 3 separate Life Saver liaisons before linking those delicious hard candies to the raging gastrointestinal storms that ensued shortly after said liaison. The first time, I thought for sure I had food poisoning since my youngest was also having tummy problems. Imodium was my friend that day as I weathered the moderate storm. Second round was 4 days later during an outing of the Broadway production of Little House on the Prairie. The entire performance my stomach was churning so loudly and painfully that I actually thought I might explode all over the 2nd tier. Unfortunate situation for friend sitting next to me in the dark theater. I couldn’t tell you what was worse, the sound of my rumblings or the subpar singing of Melissa Gilbert as Ma Ingles. My friend leaned over and suggested perhaps my stomach was beginning to eat itself from the inside out due to the crazy protein diet? She really got me thinking then as doubt began to creep in. Could it be?
Another 3 days passed before my last and most heated Life Saver Liaison with a family sized bag. 30 minutes after bag completion, my brain began picking up on the pattern my stomach was now feeling. The connection was solidified after 5 hours of deep thought induced by a night spent in the bathroom. Damn, the jig is up and I have to end another affair! So sad. Why can’t I be addicted to exercise, scrap booking or even beanie baby collecting? Ok, it’s creepy but at least not harmful to one’s health. What is an obsessive compulsive to do without a binge buddy?
At 3 am I dug the empty bag out of the trash and read the very fine print “Contains Sucralose. Over consumption of product has a laxative effect”. Well shit, there you have it. I will take it upon myself to write Wrigley’s with a suggested warning change. My version would read “Caution excessive use of product is comparable to gastric effects caused by ingesting Tijuana street taco due to poor tequila induced judgment call. Think you, taco and Tijuana bathroom facilities before eating more than 2.” This would at least be more helpful in warding off would be bingers.
Needless to say, the dangerous liaison is over. Why are those evil chemicals in products sold over the counter to diabetics and children? I went back to chewing Eclipse gum and feeling quite put out to have not found a substitute yet. Whatever, blah, blah, blah I know I should reach deep and stop binging all together. Not ready for that much personal growth yet and frankly there is no money left for qualified therapist until my protein shake consumption subsides. Until then, trolling for a new buddy….
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Day 43 – B-MAD Do you have it or is it just me?
20 lbs lost
This Wednesday started out with a bang as I woke up at 5:45 a.m. and gingerly stepped on the scale stripped down naked (you know this is how y’all weigh yourselves so don’t act shocked). Too bad my scale doesn’t make the cool “Biggest Looser” sound effects but it was still very exciting as the scale registered another 2 lb loss. As of today, this brings my total to 20 lbs lost in 43 days. I did a quick happy dance and virtual high fived myself since no one else is awake at this hour.
Quickly calculating if it is possible to try on 9 pairs of pants before my 6 a.m. conference call, I ran to my closet and pulled out the “Less Fat Bin”. This bin consists of clothes I was wearing at the end of last summer before my serious downward spiral of depression and rapid weight gain. I immediately started trying on pants and Voila! They fit again! Yeah! Good news since I refused to buy a stitch of maximum density clothing this winter. The 2 pairs of pants I had been rotating since December are starting to wear thin.
This brings me to the discussion of wardrobe as a measure of mood. I recently had a side conversation with one of you about this very topic so honesty check. If you walk into my closet, it is brimming with clothes yet I still have nothing to wear. I know every woman says that but for a forever yo-yo dieting gal, there really is some merit behind the whine.
Does everyone have the dreaded “fat bin”? Well I have the exact same clothes in 4 different sizes. Each size’s wardrobe is fairly limited even thought together they make a sizable collection. It feels like the ultimate failure when you finally have to admit to yourself that no, you can’t in fact go out in a pair of pants with a serious camel toe where even a blind man would make out those panty lines. Ugh, the ultimate of hall of shame moment! Self denial can only take you so far until you face the mirror and grudgingly have to admit that the pants you just put on did not give you a Costco sized muffin top 2 months ago.
My mood and general outlook on life fluctuates with the respective clothing bin I have to dip into.
Size 22 - Pissed! Danger Will Rogers she is unstable (which in fact is where I started this journey). Proceed with caution to all of those who live in my universe.
Size 20 - Usually sad but can put on a good face for company.
Size 18 - Happy most of the time with just light pepperings of sadness. Very approachable and open to new adventures while in this bin. This is how I ended up on a mule in Tahoe last summer. Another time….
Size 16 – FABULOUS!!! Excellent opportunity to spend mass quantities of time with fun loving gal before emotionally unstable gal returns and the size 22 bin needs to be pulled out again.
And so the cycle has repeated thusly for the past 20+ years.
Well, last spring, I threw out my size 22 “Maximum Density” bin. Now don’t gasp in horror at my complete lack of a disaster recovery plan while heading into a recession. I was just so confident that this time I would never return to that size again. I kept the size 20 bin as a buffer and ceremonially released 22’s to the universe. “Be free denims and kakis! May you find a new owner and aid them on their own weigh loss journey” No seriously, I am not making this crap up as I donated them to a Day in OA (Overeaters Anonymous) clothing swap.
My good faith act is why I had exactly 2 pairs of pants this winter. The forgotten ones in the back of the closet that somehow missed my ceremonial cleansing frenzie. This is just one of the many bumps and bruises I have endured in my life long battle of the bulge. Sorry to those of you who had to endure my “Glamour Don’t” style this season? I simply refused to buy more 22s after the big ceremonial release and all. My ego just a little too bruised.
Will I finally ever get to a place where I feel confident in my sustainability at an emotionally acceptable lower weight where I will invest in a quality wardrobe? Perhaps with Donuts-to-Diva logos all over them? Hee hee! Who knows, but for now once again reaching into the size 20 bin allows me to put on a good face for company and keep sadness at bay most of the time. Do any of you also have B-MAD (bin related mood alteration disorder) or is it just me? I would love to hear your stories so we can laugh and cry together. Feel free to use the comments section to share!
This Wednesday started out with a bang as I woke up at 5:45 a.m. and gingerly stepped on the scale stripped down naked (you know this is how y’all weigh yourselves so don’t act shocked). Too bad my scale doesn’t make the cool “Biggest Looser” sound effects but it was still very exciting as the scale registered another 2 lb loss. As of today, this brings my total to 20 lbs lost in 43 days. I did a quick happy dance and virtual high fived myself since no one else is awake at this hour.
Quickly calculating if it is possible to try on 9 pairs of pants before my 6 a.m. conference call, I ran to my closet and pulled out the “Less Fat Bin”. This bin consists of clothes I was wearing at the end of last summer before my serious downward spiral of depression and rapid weight gain. I immediately started trying on pants and Voila! They fit again! Yeah! Good news since I refused to buy a stitch of maximum density clothing this winter. The 2 pairs of pants I had been rotating since December are starting to wear thin.
This brings me to the discussion of wardrobe as a measure of mood. I recently had a side conversation with one of you about this very topic so honesty check. If you walk into my closet, it is brimming with clothes yet I still have nothing to wear. I know every woman says that but for a forever yo-yo dieting gal, there really is some merit behind the whine.
Does everyone have the dreaded “fat bin”? Well I have the exact same clothes in 4 different sizes. Each size’s wardrobe is fairly limited even thought together they make a sizable collection. It feels like the ultimate failure when you finally have to admit to yourself that no, you can’t in fact go out in a pair of pants with a serious camel toe where even a blind man would make out those panty lines. Ugh, the ultimate of hall of shame moment! Self denial can only take you so far until you face the mirror and grudgingly have to admit that the pants you just put on did not give you a Costco sized muffin top 2 months ago.
My mood and general outlook on life fluctuates with the respective clothing bin I have to dip into.
Size 22 - Pissed! Danger Will Rogers she is unstable (which in fact is where I started this journey). Proceed with caution to all of those who live in my universe.
Size 20 - Usually sad but can put on a good face for company.
Size 18 - Happy most of the time with just light pepperings of sadness. Very approachable and open to new adventures while in this bin. This is how I ended up on a mule in Tahoe last summer. Another time….
Size 16 – FABULOUS!!! Excellent opportunity to spend mass quantities of time with fun loving gal before emotionally unstable gal returns and the size 22 bin needs to be pulled out again.
And so the cycle has repeated thusly for the past 20+ years.
Well, last spring, I threw out my size 22 “Maximum Density” bin. Now don’t gasp in horror at my complete lack of a disaster recovery plan while heading into a recession. I was just so confident that this time I would never return to that size again. I kept the size 20 bin as a buffer and ceremonially released 22’s to the universe. “Be free denims and kakis! May you find a new owner and aid them on their own weigh loss journey” No seriously, I am not making this crap up as I donated them to a Day in OA (Overeaters Anonymous) clothing swap.
My good faith act is why I had exactly 2 pairs of pants this winter. The forgotten ones in the back of the closet that somehow missed my ceremonial cleansing frenzie. This is just one of the many bumps and bruises I have endured in my life long battle of the bulge. Sorry to those of you who had to endure my “Glamour Don’t” style this season? I simply refused to buy more 22s after the big ceremonial release and all. My ego just a little too bruised.
Will I finally ever get to a place where I feel confident in my sustainability at an emotionally acceptable lower weight where I will invest in a quality wardrobe? Perhaps with Donuts-to-Diva logos all over them? Hee hee! Who knows, but for now once again reaching into the size 20 bin allows me to put on a good face for company and keep sadness at bay most of the time. Do any of you also have B-MAD (bin related mood alteration disorder) or is it just me? I would love to hear your stories so we can laugh and cry together. Feel free to use the comments section to share!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Day 40 – Paying the Pied Piper…Post Vacation Cold Hits
18 lbs lost
The week returning from vacation and I am sick, sick, sick. I bet employers just love it when we call in sick after a week long vacation. The first thought must be “Sure you are!” Not to whine too much but I really was practically toxic with the bug I gleaned from hubby. I’m sure the multitude of hand rails touched for non fast pass rides didn’t help the incubation period along any. Many apologies to my walking buddy who met me for a trail jaunt directly after vacation. Hopefully my bug wasn’t passed on.
The illness ground my exercise routine to a halt. This is a scary situation since all the years of yo-yo diets and sedentary life style indicative of an at home tele-worker have made my metabolism resistant to diets alone. I do not loose without workouts, period, end of story. This makes me especially cranky since the cost of the good doctor’s program runs around $135 a week. All attempts thus far to lighten this financial burden with my supposedly excellent health care insurance provider has lead to DENIED CLAIM status from my now 2nd appeal.
While we are on the subject of my insurance battle let me digress for a moment. I don’t think I ever discussed the submission of my first claim with the blog. When I started with the good doctor, via a physician’s referral, my BMI was 39.6%. My labs however were my downfall as they came back clean with no signs of heart disease, diabetes or other weight related indicators. No, I am not crazy to say downfall according to my expensive HMO insurance policy. You see I missed the cut off for coverage by .04% BMI and required at least one other indicator of weight related illness such as diabetes. So even though I had more fat than a Jimmy Dean sausage, I didn’t qualify for coverage.
No surprise too many that my HMO coverage really doesn’t cover maintenance or prevention at all. Absolute nuts which is why I have been on the war path ever since. I think they should roll out the insurance red carpet since I will be saving them potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars in claims later on. I will stop my rant but stay tuned for upcoming episodes of Donuts to Diva Insurance Battles!
For now I am recovering from the cold and will be back in the gym on Monday.
The week returning from vacation and I am sick, sick, sick. I bet employers just love it when we call in sick after a week long vacation. The first thought must be “Sure you are!” Not to whine too much but I really was practically toxic with the bug I gleaned from hubby. I’m sure the multitude of hand rails touched for non fast pass rides didn’t help the incubation period along any. Many apologies to my walking buddy who met me for a trail jaunt directly after vacation. Hopefully my bug wasn’t passed on.
The illness ground my exercise routine to a halt. This is a scary situation since all the years of yo-yo diets and sedentary life style indicative of an at home tele-worker have made my metabolism resistant to diets alone. I do not loose without workouts, period, end of story. This makes me especially cranky since the cost of the good doctor’s program runs around $135 a week. All attempts thus far to lighten this financial burden with my supposedly excellent health care insurance provider has lead to DENIED CLAIM status from my now 2nd appeal.
While we are on the subject of my insurance battle let me digress for a moment. I don’t think I ever discussed the submission of my first claim with the blog. When I started with the good doctor, via a physician’s referral, my BMI was 39.6%. My labs however were my downfall as they came back clean with no signs of heart disease, diabetes or other weight related indicators. No, I am not crazy to say downfall according to my expensive HMO insurance policy. You see I missed the cut off for coverage by .04% BMI and required at least one other indicator of weight related illness such as diabetes. So even though I had more fat than a Jimmy Dean sausage, I didn’t qualify for coverage.
No surprise too many that my HMO coverage really doesn’t cover maintenance or prevention at all. Absolute nuts which is why I have been on the war path ever since. I think they should roll out the insurance red carpet since I will be saving them potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars in claims later on. I will stop my rant but stay tuned for upcoming episodes of Donuts to Diva Insurance Battles!
For now I am recovering from the cold and will be back in the gym on Monday.
Day 34 – Vacation Assessment…B
14.5 lbs lost
We wrapped up our vacation after 6 days and 1100 miles logged on our trusty minivan, Vandela. We managed to squeeze in Disneyland, a visit with friends, the Reagan Library, Santa Barbara and finally a quick swing by Pismo Beach. It was such a good time and overall the diet went fairly well. I stayed on plan all breakfasts, snacks and lunches. Dinners were harder as I never really knew what hidden calories were in the meal. On the night at our friend’s house, I made the choice to eat the authentic Mexican food that our hosts had been cooking all day in honor of our visit. It was too die for and after seeing the vast amounts of oil, cream and cheese that went into the meal, I didn’t even hazard a guess. It was better to just choose to enjoy a small portion. We even managed to get in lots of walking and a quad bike ride on the beach in Santa Barbara. My husband coined this my “biggest looser moment” as this is not something we would typically do. My poor husband was fighting a terrible cold during the trip and still agreed to do the quad ride with a fever and cough to give me my BL moment. I must have had crazy eyes to make him not question my request.
Man was it hard to peddle four people along the 5 miles of beach path. My kids kept pooping out on the peddling and my youngest couldn’t even reach the peddles without standing up. We kept screaming for them to peddle as we lumbered along at a snails pace. In that moment I had a flashback to when I was about 14 and my mom bought a totally cool retro tandem bike at a garage sale. That summer, we set off one fine afternoon to ride that bike all over the lake islands where she lived. 10 minutes into the grand adventure I was broken out in a full sweat and standing to peddle. At first I thought the gears were broken or something. Then, I looked behind me to see my mom not peddling as she was ogling people’s yard ornaments and flower selections. “Mom, peddle!” I grunted. Each time she would kick in for about 5 minutes and then go right back to forgetting to peddle when a new lawn flag appeared. Frustrated, I put her in the front thinking now she would have to peddle. Nope! Didn’t make a difference as she was unable to sightsee and peddle at the same time. Peddling disorder, I’m sure we could find it if we looked it up. Needless to say, we didn’t ride the bike all that often that summer….. However, I would definitely rent bikes on the beach again but maybe singles instead of a quad.
We wrapped up our vacation after 6 days and 1100 miles logged on our trusty minivan, Vandela. We managed to squeeze in Disneyland, a visit with friends, the Reagan Library, Santa Barbara and finally a quick swing by Pismo Beach. It was such a good time and overall the diet went fairly well. I stayed on plan all breakfasts, snacks and lunches. Dinners were harder as I never really knew what hidden calories were in the meal. On the night at our friend’s house, I made the choice to eat the authentic Mexican food that our hosts had been cooking all day in honor of our visit. It was too die for and after seeing the vast amounts of oil, cream and cheese that went into the meal, I didn’t even hazard a guess. It was better to just choose to enjoy a small portion. We even managed to get in lots of walking and a quad bike ride on the beach in Santa Barbara. My husband coined this my “biggest looser moment” as this is not something we would typically do. My poor husband was fighting a terrible cold during the trip and still agreed to do the quad ride with a fever and cough to give me my BL moment. I must have had crazy eyes to make him not question my request.
Man was it hard to peddle four people along the 5 miles of beach path. My kids kept pooping out on the peddling and my youngest couldn’t even reach the peddles without standing up. We kept screaming for them to peddle as we lumbered along at a snails pace. In that moment I had a flashback to when I was about 14 and my mom bought a totally cool retro tandem bike at a garage sale. That summer, we set off one fine afternoon to ride that bike all over the lake islands where she lived. 10 minutes into the grand adventure I was broken out in a full sweat and standing to peddle. At first I thought the gears were broken or something. Then, I looked behind me to see my mom not peddling as she was ogling people’s yard ornaments and flower selections. “Mom, peddle!” I grunted. Each time she would kick in for about 5 minutes and then go right back to forgetting to peddle when a new lawn flag appeared. Frustrated, I put her in the front thinking now she would have to peddle. Nope! Didn’t make a difference as she was unable to sightsee and peddle at the same time. Peddling disorder, I’m sure we could find it if we looked it up. Needless to say, we didn’t ride the bike all that often that summer….. However, I would definitely rent bikes on the beach again but maybe singles instead of a quad.
Day 29 - Ah ha Ahi Tuna
13 lbs lighter (I hope!)
Day 1 in the park was awesome both in fun and in my ability to stay on plan. We walked the 5 blocks into the park and managed to get on all our favorite rides the first day. My tuna strategy went off without a hitch. Another key discovery was that free ice water was fairly easy to come by in the park. Why everyone kept buying the $4 bottles of Dasani was beyond us. I was able to make my shakes and keep up my 64 oz of water consumption all day.
We decided to eat dinner out of the park and walked to a new strip with a bunch of restaurants. My husband and I gasped when discovering there was a Roy’s. We have both always wanted to eat at one of these but haven’t had the chance. The menu was so mouthwatering with a vast number of fresh and diet friendly choices. We were then crushed to discover that Roy’s didn’t offer childcare back in the kitchen where they would chuck my kids hot dogs while we dined in style. Major sigh, when the realization dawned that we would not spend $200 on a meal for us AND the kids.
We finally settled on Cheesecake factory. After pouring over the menu to ensure I was making the best possible choice, I was down to 2 different Ahi tuna dishes. I consulted with our server to see if I could get the dish altered to only have seared fish and veggies. She assured me I could and recommended the better choice of the two. It came and was beautiful. So delicious! The best I have had in so long…. hmm, a little too delicious is what my inner voice kept needling. Damn inner voice wouldn’t shut up so at the end of the meal, I just had to ask our server if she knew the calories of what I ate. She then whips out the calorie guide which I failed to see when we started. That Seared Ahi turned out to be 1600 calories! This is 300 calories more than my total daily allotted intake. “What the f@#$%!” I exclaimed. Ugh! To make matters worse, the much debated 2nd menu choice turned out to be the lowest calorie item on their entire menu at 286 calories. I WAS PISSED!!! My husband practically spit out his drink laughing upon this discovery. Then, my oldest son pipes in with “Mom, you could have had 3 Big Macs!” He quit laughing when he saw the look of death from me. I ate canned tuna on lettuce today for goodness sakes. I felt totally duped. Good think we walked about 7 miles that day or I would have been doomed.
Hard lesson, read the calorie counts first not last or just don’t ask.
Day 1 in the park was awesome both in fun and in my ability to stay on plan. We walked the 5 blocks into the park and managed to get on all our favorite rides the first day. My tuna strategy went off without a hitch. Another key discovery was that free ice water was fairly easy to come by in the park. Why everyone kept buying the $4 bottles of Dasani was beyond us. I was able to make my shakes and keep up my 64 oz of water consumption all day.
We decided to eat dinner out of the park and walked to a new strip with a bunch of restaurants. My husband and I gasped when discovering there was a Roy’s. We have both always wanted to eat at one of these but haven’t had the chance. The menu was so mouthwatering with a vast number of fresh and diet friendly choices. We were then crushed to discover that Roy’s didn’t offer childcare back in the kitchen where they would chuck my kids hot dogs while we dined in style. Major sigh, when the realization dawned that we would not spend $200 on a meal for us AND the kids.
We finally settled on Cheesecake factory. After pouring over the menu to ensure I was making the best possible choice, I was down to 2 different Ahi tuna dishes. I consulted with our server to see if I could get the dish altered to only have seared fish and veggies. She assured me I could and recommended the better choice of the two. It came and was beautiful. So delicious! The best I have had in so long…. hmm, a little too delicious is what my inner voice kept needling. Damn inner voice wouldn’t shut up so at the end of the meal, I just had to ask our server if she knew the calories of what I ate. She then whips out the calorie guide which I failed to see when we started. That Seared Ahi turned out to be 1600 calories! This is 300 calories more than my total daily allotted intake. “What the f@#$%!” I exclaimed. Ugh! To make matters worse, the much debated 2nd menu choice turned out to be the lowest calorie item on their entire menu at 286 calories. I WAS PISSED!!! My husband practically spit out his drink laughing upon this discovery. Then, my oldest son pipes in with “Mom, you could have had 3 Big Macs!” He quit laughing when he saw the look of death from me. I ate canned tuna on lettuce today for goodness sakes. I felt totally duped. Good think we walked about 7 miles that day or I would have been doomed.
Hard lesson, read the calorie counts first not last or just don’t ask.
Day 28 – Pack Up the Minivan & Protein Shaker…It’s Spring Break!
13 pounds lighter
With only 5 weeks of diet mastery behind me, Spring Break is upon me. That’s right, 5 family fun filled days of Disneyland, hotels and dinners out. Yikes! I am excited to go on our first family vacation in a year and spend some great family time. This is fairly scarce in our daily schedule of work, school and kid activities. However, I am also a bit nervous that I will be able to stay “On the Wagon” so to speak while facing numerous dinners out and limited options in the Magic Kingdom.
To date, I have prepared most of my meals at home so I don’t have to face too many yummy high calorie choices. So imagine my concern that every menu I will face will include all things fried. So I set forth to plan. I packed my shakes, almonds, and a great little find I discovered before my son’s last field trip, seasoned pull top tuna. I bought one of these per day so that no matter what, I could dump this on top of a salad and get in my 30 grams of protein.
8 am Sunday morning, we set out on I-5 to begin our 8 hour drive with shake, coffee and 40 oz of water in hand. 8:22 am, I had to pee. Oops, didn’t really think this one through. To make matters worse, my 7 year old has to pee as much as I do and never at the same time. The 8 drive turned into an 11 hours adventure of what has to be the worst bathrooms on the planet. Yuck! Feeling sullied, we finally pulled into our hotel.
With only 5 weeks of diet mastery behind me, Spring Break is upon me. That’s right, 5 family fun filled days of Disneyland, hotels and dinners out. Yikes! I am excited to go on our first family vacation in a year and spend some great family time. This is fairly scarce in our daily schedule of work, school and kid activities. However, I am also a bit nervous that I will be able to stay “On the Wagon” so to speak while facing numerous dinners out and limited options in the Magic Kingdom.
To date, I have prepared most of my meals at home so I don’t have to face too many yummy high calorie choices. So imagine my concern that every menu I will face will include all things fried. So I set forth to plan. I packed my shakes, almonds, and a great little find I discovered before my son’s last field trip, seasoned pull top tuna. I bought one of these per day so that no matter what, I could dump this on top of a salad and get in my 30 grams of protein.
8 am Sunday morning, we set out on I-5 to begin our 8 hour drive with shake, coffee and 40 oz of water in hand. 8:22 am, I had to pee. Oops, didn’t really think this one through. To make matters worse, my 7 year old has to pee as much as I do and never at the same time. The 8 drive turned into an 11 hours adventure of what has to be the worst bathrooms on the planet. Yuck! Feeling sullied, we finally pulled into our hotel.
Friday, April 9, 2010
March 19th Day 20 – Limos, Liquor and Liquid Protein?
Friday was filled with excitement as I was off to celebrate one of my very closest friends turning the big 4-0. Bonded together in the college dorms, tonight’s group of party goers have shared every major life event over the past 22 years. These guys have seen me at my best, worst and every manically induced yo-yo diet in between. If you guys are reading out there, I am honored with the longevity and love of our shared friendship.
I headed out the door with my protein shaker, and the absolute conviction that I would listen to the good Dr’s advise to not mix booze and Phentermine. I was feeling quite smug since I had gotten in 45 minutes of sweat inducing cardio and the once again welcomed the ability to actually zip my dressy black slacks without a ratcheting set.
First stop was to drop off my car so I could carpool in with my good friend and pary goer into the city. This friend has been steadily melting away through her own efforts the past 2 years. No drugs or secret formula just determination, strict diet and exercise. I am so very proud of her 100+ lbs of weight loss and she said she was going “all the way baby!”. She said she even recently ran a mile for the first time in over 25 years. Huge!
We efficiently scared the crap out of our birthday girl by doing a little B&E into her home so we could pounce our birthday wishes upon her. We exuded great enthusiasm since let’s face it, she is the oldest and thereby facing 40 first! I whipped up my last shake of the day before crawling into the limo. Immediately, champagne corks were popped and beautiful adult beverages began to flow. One party goer is a doctor and just happened to mention that she had a drug interactions reference on her blackberry that she could call up if I decided to partake but of course she wouldn’t recommend it.
I was steadfast for the entire ride into the city then I started to get hungry and quite jealous of my slightly inebriated party goers. By the time we got to our first bar I had already worked out worst case scenarios and considered I was in a limo A) not driving B) had my insurance card on me and C) I am sure the limo driver could find the hospital if needed. All these reasons suddenly made perfect sense for me to partake so I sauntered up to my friend with her drug interactions list and demanded a look up Stat! We read, “side effects may include: light headed, dizzy and heighten effect of alcohol on the blood stream”. We looked at each other, blinked and both declared simultaneously that this just made me a cheap date and isn’t that what everyone is looking for in an adult beverage. Ha!
I quickly ordered up a lemon drop and half way into martini glass, BAM! Light headed was right, I saw spots and started to feel like I just got off the Zipper at the state fair. In 5 sips I went from fine to spinny drunk with no fun part in between. Yikes! I stopped immediately and spent the next 45 minutes attempting to shake off the effects and realized that I really needed to eat. It had been 5 hours since the last shake. I should have had another one on me but live and learn.
The rest of the night, dinner and friends were lovely once I got some protein in me. I tried curried cauliflower for the very first time and had shrimp cocktail to die for. All in all, a wonderful event for a wonderful friend.
I headed out the door with my protein shaker, and the absolute conviction that I would listen to the good Dr’s advise to not mix booze and Phentermine. I was feeling quite smug since I had gotten in 45 minutes of sweat inducing cardio and the once again welcomed the ability to actually zip my dressy black slacks without a ratcheting set.
First stop was to drop off my car so I could carpool in with my good friend and pary goer into the city. This friend has been steadily melting away through her own efforts the past 2 years. No drugs or secret formula just determination, strict diet and exercise. I am so very proud of her 100+ lbs of weight loss and she said she was going “all the way baby!”. She said she even recently ran a mile for the first time in over 25 years. Huge!
We efficiently scared the crap out of our birthday girl by doing a little B&E into her home so we could pounce our birthday wishes upon her. We exuded great enthusiasm since let’s face it, she is the oldest and thereby facing 40 first! I whipped up my last shake of the day before crawling into the limo. Immediately, champagne corks were popped and beautiful adult beverages began to flow. One party goer is a doctor and just happened to mention that she had a drug interactions reference on her blackberry that she could call up if I decided to partake but of course she wouldn’t recommend it.
I was steadfast for the entire ride into the city then I started to get hungry and quite jealous of my slightly inebriated party goers. By the time we got to our first bar I had already worked out worst case scenarios and considered I was in a limo A) not driving B) had my insurance card on me and C) I am sure the limo driver could find the hospital if needed. All these reasons suddenly made perfect sense for me to partake so I sauntered up to my friend with her drug interactions list and demanded a look up Stat! We read, “side effects may include: light headed, dizzy and heighten effect of alcohol on the blood stream”. We looked at each other, blinked and both declared simultaneously that this just made me a cheap date and isn’t that what everyone is looking for in an adult beverage. Ha!
I quickly ordered up a lemon drop and half way into martini glass, BAM! Light headed was right, I saw spots and started to feel like I just got off the Zipper at the state fair. In 5 sips I went from fine to spinny drunk with no fun part in between. Yikes! I stopped immediately and spent the next 45 minutes attempting to shake off the effects and realized that I really needed to eat. It had been 5 hours since the last shake. I should have had another one on me but live and learn.
The rest of the night, dinner and friends were lovely once I got some protein in me. I tried curried cauliflower for the very first time and had shrimp cocktail to die for. All in all, a wonderful event for a wonderful friend.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Day 14 – Mid Week Side Effect, Coming Right Up
Four days into my meat munching marathon, a nasty little side effect crept up on me. You guessed it, constipation. Why! Things were going so well. Yes, this was listed in the fine print as a potential risk but never in a million years did I think they meant that it could happen to me (I know I completely sound like a bad Lifetime Movie). How could this happen with the mass amounts of liquids flowing in and out of my body daily? I am in a constant race with my youngest son to the bathroom and a little ashamed to admit that I have used the power of my big bootie to gently nudge ahead of him a time or 2 into the downstairs bathroom. I only mention this side effect so others also venturing into a similar medical weight loss journey know this potential risk in advance.
I will not horrify you with the details but no longer will I openly mock commercials that begin with “Do you suffer from regularity?”. I have officially crossed over into the category of those who do and was forced to purchase my first ever bottle of Metamucil. It was a low moment indeed when I stomped off to my corner Safeway to buy only this item and belately forgot to add in other items to cover said purchase until it was too late. With 3 other people cuing up behind me, I quickly grabbed some gum right before plopping down that bottle on the belt. Ugh! I know what 30 year old check out guy was thinking! “Stop looking at me funny jerk and quit asking me if I would like to enter my Safeway discount card #.” Right, like Metamucil is the BOGO of the week? I pulled mine right off the end cap, next to your Doritos display, NOT! At that moment, I didn’t care if my anger was unfairly directed at him. Go ahead, think a little less of me right now but I was not in a happy moment and I felt quite traumatized over the whole experience. Am I now ready for the early bird special, coffee with dinner(not after) and a game of pool side Canasta?
My 3rd doctor’s visit came 3 days later and I was armed with my question when we got to the “Do you have any questions or concerns” portion of the exam. After explaining my plight, the nurse practitioner calmly looked at my journal and made hmmm, uh hum sounds. Then she looked up and said I was not getting in enough water. What? I’m flooded already and building an Ark in the backyard as insurance. Was she crazy? She said all the liquids used in the shakes didn’t count towards the 64 oz nor did the sodas, coffee or tea I was currently consuming. Boost up my pure water intake and see what happens. Darn! Not happy with this answer but still having the need to be the good patient, I started implementing her plan. Grudging I admit she is not crazy and her plan has worked for me. The ship is back on course so to speak. Signing off today as your water logged and 11 lbs lighter friend.
I will not horrify you with the details but no longer will I openly mock commercials that begin with “Do you suffer from regularity?”. I have officially crossed over into the category of those who do and was forced to purchase my first ever bottle of Metamucil. It was a low moment indeed when I stomped off to my corner Safeway to buy only this item and belately forgot to add in other items to cover said purchase until it was too late. With 3 other people cuing up behind me, I quickly grabbed some gum right before plopping down that bottle on the belt. Ugh! I know what 30 year old check out guy was thinking! “Stop looking at me funny jerk and quit asking me if I would like to enter my Safeway discount card #.” Right, like Metamucil is the BOGO of the week? I pulled mine right off the end cap, next to your Doritos display, NOT! At that moment, I didn’t care if my anger was unfairly directed at him. Go ahead, think a little less of me right now but I was not in a happy moment and I felt quite traumatized over the whole experience. Am I now ready for the early bird special, coffee with dinner(not after) and a game of pool side Canasta?
My 3rd doctor’s visit came 3 days later and I was armed with my question when we got to the “Do you have any questions or concerns” portion of the exam. After explaining my plight, the nurse practitioner calmly looked at my journal and made hmmm, uh hum sounds. Then she looked up and said I was not getting in enough water. What? I’m flooded already and building an Ark in the backyard as insurance. Was she crazy? She said all the liquids used in the shakes didn’t count towards the 64 oz nor did the sodas, coffee or tea I was currently consuming. Boost up my pure water intake and see what happens. Darn! Not happy with this answer but still having the need to be the good patient, I started implementing her plan. Grudging I admit she is not crazy and her plan has worked for me. The ship is back on course so to speak. Signing off today as your water logged and 11 lbs lighter friend.
Day 11 – Give Me Something to Chew On
9 lbs lost…good bye! This week’s Dr. Appointment was magic. 9 whole pounds lost and the good Dr. seemed please with my progress. Neither of us mentioned the fact that much of my loss was most likely water as I played my role of excited patient and he the encouraging medical figure. Truly, I was just pleased that I didn’t pass out, throw up or get homicidal with coworkers between breakfast and the mid morning shake. Of course, the good doctor inquired to any potential side effects I might be experiencing with the Phentermine. I confirmed that, yes I had the classic dry mouth symptom and headaches but was adjusting to it quite nicely. It is a very small cross to bear indeed by comparison to the usual obsession with the next meal that has been lifted.
We were at the end of our chat when the good doctor indicated my trial hazing period was over and I was now allowed to put some real protein back into my diet. The first day I could add in 30 grams and then the 2nd day, 60 whole grams between 2 meals a day. 60 grams a day would then be maintained daily for the rest of the week. Wow, real “meat on a plate” protein never sounded so good! My reaction was surprising to me since I never considered any emotional attachment to meat before. A good burger on the rare occasion sounded good but beyond that, nope, never think of it.
My husband definitely has deeply rooted attachments to meat and dare I say separation anxiety if 6 hours have passed without at least an infusion of drive thru burger to sustain him. I really wouldn’t put it past him to sleep with a rib eye under his pillow if he could figure out how to get it in the bed without me seeing. But me? I have always been drawn to bread, chips and you guessed it, donuts. Now there was something to snuggle up too!
Rubbing my hands together with fresh new rules in my head and keen anticipation of gnawing on something substantial for lunch, I felt like a character out of Clan of the Cave Bear. Of course, I would be from the beautiful, tall yellow haired clan and not the short, flat headed brown hairs. I set forth to track down my prey at Whole Foods, replacing my spear with a very chic recycled grocery bag. This is California after all and one must look stylish and “green” while going on a hunt at Whole Foods. After several moments of drooling over the beautifully laid out meat and fish cases, I selected chicken breasts, tilapia, tuna and shrimp to start.
The result of adding these delicious chewable proteins into my diet 2 meals a day was the slowly ebbing feeling of constant hunger. Ingesting these 60 grams or 10 oz of chewable meat each day makes all the difference in the world. Imagine? No worries, my beloved Mocha, Chocolate, Vanilla and Strawberry shakes are still firmly planted in my daily routine. I think I will forever be cleaning my blender and my family is not appreciative of it whirling at 6 am. What is a hungry girl to do?
We were at the end of our chat when the good doctor indicated my trial hazing period was over and I was now allowed to put some real protein back into my diet. The first day I could add in 30 grams and then the 2nd day, 60 whole grams between 2 meals a day. 60 grams a day would then be maintained daily for the rest of the week. Wow, real “meat on a plate” protein never sounded so good! My reaction was surprising to me since I never considered any emotional attachment to meat before. A good burger on the rare occasion sounded good but beyond that, nope, never think of it.
My husband definitely has deeply rooted attachments to meat and dare I say separation anxiety if 6 hours have passed without at least an infusion of drive thru burger to sustain him. I really wouldn’t put it past him to sleep with a rib eye under his pillow if he could figure out how to get it in the bed without me seeing. But me? I have always been drawn to bread, chips and you guessed it, donuts. Now there was something to snuggle up too!
Rubbing my hands together with fresh new rules in my head and keen anticipation of gnawing on something substantial for lunch, I felt like a character out of Clan of the Cave Bear. Of course, I would be from the beautiful, tall yellow haired clan and not the short, flat headed brown hairs. I set forth to track down my prey at Whole Foods, replacing my spear with a very chic recycled grocery bag. This is California after all and one must look stylish and “green” while going on a hunt at Whole Foods. After several moments of drooling over the beautifully laid out meat and fish cases, I selected chicken breasts, tilapia, tuna and shrimp to start.
The result of adding these delicious chewable proteins into my diet 2 meals a day was the slowly ebbing feeling of constant hunger. Ingesting these 60 grams or 10 oz of chewable meat each day makes all the difference in the world. Imagine? No worries, my beloved Mocha, Chocolate, Vanilla and Strawberry shakes are still firmly planted in my daily routine. I think I will forever be cleaning my blender and my family is not appreciative of it whirling at 6 am. What is a hungry girl to do?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Day 8 – To Crab Feed or Not to Crab Feed?
Just rounding out Week 1 and along came the annual Little League Crab Feed. A moment of panic ensued. Should I go? All of our friends will be there and meeting for cocktails before hand. People will be having fun without me! I can’t eat or drink right now but never the less what to do??!! It was for a good cause, our little league after all. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
As sweat started to pearl on my brow, I had to get a grip and seriously snapped out of it. I said sister, “you are in no position to be facing a meal with a plastic bib and All You Can Eat in the title.” DANGER, DANGER!!! 7 days of hard work could be wiped out before the winning raffle ticket numbers were called.
Let’s talk seriously about the “All You Can Eat” phenomenon. No wonder we are so fat in this country. “All You Can Eat” to a compulsive over eater is a free pass to be completely insane in public.. I can pile 5 separate dinners, 2 slices of pizza and 3 desserts onto 1 buffet sized plate and no one thinks “Damn woman!”. While perusing all those fatty, carby choices, I approach an altered state where I do actually think that prime rib goes with mac n’cheese, chow mein, mashed potatoes and fried chicken. Can you imagine doing this at home? Of course, I would wash this down with 40 oz of Diet Coke for good measure. For those of you who might be self conscious with piling on enough food for a lumberjack and his 6 strapping sons, they created the “clean plate”. Ah, now you can sweep away all evidence and start out fresh. Who will notice your 15 trips to the buffet? This completely disconnects you from having to face that you downed 5 portions in one sitting. Don't even get me started on attempting to eat while still in the buffet line. The sad part is (I know, really only one?), the food generally is not that great. My sisters in compulsion know, this doesn’t matter one damn bit.
My family loves all you can eat restaurants so I have spent many of fine family gatherings in just such establishments around town. Naturally skinny people know how to handle this scenario. My dear sister-in-law for example will put 3 green beans and 2 pieces of sushi on the plate and declare she is stuffed when finished. Seriously? I’m baffled by this behavior. I have known her long enough to know she is earnest and not stuffing macaroons in her purse for later. All I can think is “Come on! You can do better than that! Make a dent! Get another plate. You paid for it!”
I give you all this background so that you understand sadly why my poor husband attended the Annual Little League Crab Feed as the only single in a party of 15. Whew! No EAP session or bib required. Yes!
As sweat started to pearl on my brow, I had to get a grip and seriously snapped out of it. I said sister, “you are in no position to be facing a meal with a plastic bib and All You Can Eat in the title.” DANGER, DANGER!!! 7 days of hard work could be wiped out before the winning raffle ticket numbers were called.
Let’s talk seriously about the “All You Can Eat” phenomenon. No wonder we are so fat in this country. “All You Can Eat” to a compulsive over eater is a free pass to be completely insane in public.. I can pile 5 separate dinners, 2 slices of pizza and 3 desserts onto 1 buffet sized plate and no one thinks “Damn woman!”. While perusing all those fatty, carby choices, I approach an altered state where I do actually think that prime rib goes with mac n’cheese, chow mein, mashed potatoes and fried chicken. Can you imagine doing this at home? Of course, I would wash this down with 40 oz of Diet Coke for good measure. For those of you who might be self conscious with piling on enough food for a lumberjack and his 6 strapping sons, they created the “clean plate”. Ah, now you can sweep away all evidence and start out fresh. Who will notice your 15 trips to the buffet? This completely disconnects you from having to face that you downed 5 portions in one sitting. Don't even get me started on attempting to eat while still in the buffet line. The sad part is (I know, really only one?), the food generally is not that great. My sisters in compulsion know, this doesn’t matter one damn bit.
My family loves all you can eat restaurants so I have spent many of fine family gatherings in just such establishments around town. Naturally skinny people know how to handle this scenario. My dear sister-in-law for example will put 3 green beans and 2 pieces of sushi on the plate and declare she is stuffed when finished. Seriously? I’m baffled by this behavior. I have known her long enough to know she is earnest and not stuffing macaroons in her purse for later. All I can think is “Come on! You can do better than that! Make a dent! Get another plate. You paid for it!”
I give you all this background so that you understand sadly why my poor husband attended the Annual Little League Crab Feed as the only single in a party of 15. Whew! No EAP session or bib required. Yes!
Friday, March 5, 2010
Week 1 Finished - 5 lbs
I am happy to report today that I am officially down 5 pounds and I can start putting protein back into dinner now! This makes for a very happy Friday!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Day 6 - Soy Crunchy Snack Defense!
Is starvation a legal defense for murder? If a twinkie, why not crazed hunger or soy crunchy snacks defense? I curse the front desk girl who I so willingly put my trust into helping me plan out my menu and product requirements for the week! My rampage began shortly before bed last night with the blending of my last shake of the day. I went to pack up my stuff for the evening and plan the next day’s eating (drinking, come on who are kidding) strategy when low and behold in my cabinet - OH MY GOD I AM OUT OF FOOD!!!!! Panic, panic, panic - I don’t have enough product to make it to my appointment Friday afternoon. AND what I do have left are those crappy soy crunchy snacks that when sampled by 1-2 last week in a paper cup tasted ok. In bulk they are so disgusting I have to gulp down with water they are so bad. Yuck, yuck pooey! Now I have to eat these for breakfast on Friday as the last packet of protein available in my house and then what?? I curse the check out girl, I do!!! Maybe someone should come with me on Friday to ensure I don’t suddenly get slapped with a restraining order. Feel my wrath check out girl!
Ok, need to get talked off the ledge and go call in my neighborhood expert on what to use for 2 snacks and a lunch until I can get more product. I sound like a crack addict looking to score a drug deal for god sakes! My fury stems from the fact that for the first time on THE hardest program I have ever been on, I haven’t deviated from the prescribed program. Not 1 drop, lick, taste or bite of anything! Is ensuring a newbee has exactly 69 packets or more too much to ask as a process improvement check out girl?
Later that morning…..
Ok, panic over. In a brief moment of clarity, I called the good Dr and requested to move my appointment to this afternoon. They quickly accommodated me. The hint of homicide must have been in my voice.
Ok, need to get talked off the ledge and go call in my neighborhood expert on what to use for 2 snacks and a lunch until I can get more product. I sound like a crack addict looking to score a drug deal for god sakes! My fury stems from the fact that for the first time on THE hardest program I have ever been on, I haven’t deviated from the prescribed program. Not 1 drop, lick, taste or bite of anything! Is ensuring a newbee has exactly 69 packets or more too much to ask as a process improvement check out girl?
Later that morning…..
Ok, panic over. In a brief moment of clarity, I called the good Dr and requested to move my appointment to this afternoon. They quickly accommodated me. The hint of homicide must have been in my voice.
Days 4-5 S-T-A-R-V-E-D!!!!
Apparently the Honeymoon period of being fulfilled on 1300 calories was abruptly over by Day 4. Of course, part of it could be that I really can’t remember the last time I was actually hungry, like really hungry. Oh, I thought I was hungry before rest assured but when I say hungry now I mean stomach growling, light headed, wanting to go to bed at 7pm so I won’t eat kind of hungry. Unless I am actually drinking the shake at that very moment, this is somewhat of a constant state. Consulting my trusty packet, this is supposedly all very normal the first 2 weeks. Thanks Courtney for confirming this for me yesterday and for checking up on me!
The only thing that I have found that curbs this weirdly enough is aerobic exercise and about 100 ml of water to the day. For some reason, this seems to take the edge off? If this keeps up I will need to move my home office to the bathroom to save time.
The only thing that I have found that curbs this weirdly enough is aerobic exercise and about 100 ml of water to the day. For some reason, this seems to take the edge off? If this keeps up I will need to move my home office to the bathroom to save time.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Overnight Guests and Detox, do they mix?
Just to add another layer of difficulty during "Detox Weekend", we had the pleasure of an out of town guest staying in our home. Crazy, I know but when I am ready to make a change it needs to happen Now, Right Now! Of course I can’t wait 2 days! Anyone who has an obsessive compulsive personality or is living with one, knows that any rational arguments with said crazy person on a rampage are futile. My husband didn’t even attempt it.
Our out of town guest turned out to be a Neuroscientist who’s life’s work is managing her own brain imaging and research lab. Of all the dream guests plunked on our porch, she would be my top pick for understanding chemical impacts of withdrawal on the brain. I had never met her before this weekend, so I gave her my limited liability boiler plate to sign and of course, my apologies upfront. As expected, she was very understanding. She never once commented on my nasty pickle breath or need to suck on bouillon cubes. She even explained why my Dr. was carefully prescribing certain levels of sodium, potassium and magnesium and their collaborative effects and necessary presence for proper brain function.
Our guest’s particular area of study is children with Autism and Aspergers Syndrome. I was extremely inspired by her work and vision for research in this space. However, bringing it back to “all about me” my thoughts wondered to what the brain of a sugar/carb addict would look like on the MRI? What does the brain show when the cycle of food obsession, binge, remorse and extreme guilt look like? Can it be mapped to an image? Do our brains look different from “normal brains”? Would this cycle show the rollercoaster I feel or would just a big plate of nachos show up on her screen? Given the alarming rate of growth in obesity in this country, I am sure this area of study is underway. If anyone knows of any, please let me know.
Our out of town guest turned out to be a Neuroscientist who’s life’s work is managing her own brain imaging and research lab. Of all the dream guests plunked on our porch, she would be my top pick for understanding chemical impacts of withdrawal on the brain. I had never met her before this weekend, so I gave her my limited liability boiler plate to sign and of course, my apologies upfront. As expected, she was very understanding. She never once commented on my nasty pickle breath or need to suck on bouillon cubes. She even explained why my Dr. was carefully prescribing certain levels of sodium, potassium and magnesium and their collaborative effects and necessary presence for proper brain function.
Our guest’s particular area of study is children with Autism and Aspergers Syndrome. I was extremely inspired by her work and vision for research in this space. However, bringing it back to “all about me” my thoughts wondered to what the brain of a sugar/carb addict would look like on the MRI? What does the brain show when the cycle of food obsession, binge, remorse and extreme guilt look like? Can it be mapped to an image? Do our brains look different from “normal brains”? Would this cycle show the rollercoaster I feel or would just a big plate of nachos show up on her screen? Given the alarming rate of growth in obesity in this country, I am sure this area of study is underway. If anyone knows of any, please let me know.
Day 2-3 the Wicked Witch of Withdrawal?
I’d love to regale you with tales of the mayhem causing Detox the Destroyer! My family was on hyper alert and it was obvious that my husband debriefed his little troops in emergency planning. I wouldn’t put it past him to have developed hand signals, secret codes and exit strategies if I were to loose it. I also anticipated and respect the need for a good disaster recovery plan. This isn’t my (our) first time giving up sugar and carbs. It is however the first time it has been done with such abruptness.
I am happy to report that this past weekend was surprisingly, well, not bad. I had a few moments of light headedness, snappiness and a fleeting moment Saturday night where thoughts of how my headboard would taste entered my consciousness. However, no codes against the family emergency plans were called to my knowledge.
It was a bit overwhelming attempting to ingest 9 packets of powdered protein shakes, soups and crunchies things called soy snacks (gross!) AND 48 oz of water AND the minerals AND the Phentermine all at the correct times. Not to mention the 20 grams of veggies and fats! Talk about non stop eating without fulfillment. My world once again felt like it revolved around eating with no guilt and the added bonus of 500 daily bathroom breaks. Spending the day with me is like spending the day with a potty training toddler. All activities must occur within a 50 ft radius of a bathroom. No one said anything about increased expenses for Charmin!
I am happy to report that this past weekend was surprisingly, well, not bad. I had a few moments of light headedness, snappiness and a fleeting moment Saturday night where thoughts of how my headboard would taste entered my consciousness. However, no codes against the family emergency plans were called to my knowledge.
It was a bit overwhelming attempting to ingest 9 packets of powdered protein shakes, soups and crunchies things called soy snacks (gross!) AND 48 oz of water AND the minerals AND the Phentermine all at the correct times. Not to mention the 20 grams of veggies and fats! Talk about non stop eating without fulfillment. My world once again felt like it revolved around eating with no guilt and the added bonus of 500 daily bathroom breaks. Spending the day with me is like spending the day with a potty training toddler. All activities must occur within a 50 ft radius of a bathroom. No one said anything about increased expenses for Charmin!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Day 1 "The Road to Recovery is paved with Phentermine!
I’m jazzed, I’m pumped! Day 1 and Wohoo! Ok, maybe it’s the phentermine? I feel awake for the first time in months! Today had salacious beginnings. I use the word salacious in particular as it is timely for today’s recount. I recently found out that salacious was derived from the word salt. Now, those who know me, know that I L-O-V-E salt. I would have a salt lick in the backyard like my bovine sisters if I could. So imagine my joy when the Dr told me I would need to consume 2000 mgs of additional salt a day. Apparently the liquid protein is so low in salt that you need to add it back in. I had visions of unwrapping shiny foil around tiny cubes of salty bullion and popping them in my mouth like candy. Then the Dr. said I could use pickles to get in my salt. Well, shoot! I like pickles so I decided to start with eating 2 pickles a day. At lunch on Day 1, I whipped out my brand new bottle of giant dills to find that each pickle has only 280 mgs of salt. Guess I should have checked this at the store. Hmm, got me thinking about what would happen if one consumed 7.25 pickles a day. Would you smell like Deli? Would Mr. Pickles be knocking at my door and tell me to get back to work? Seriously, I’ve decided to not test my assumptions and have gone back to the idea of eating bouillon cubes. 4 pm, just had my “snack” shake. Is it dinner time yet?
Day 0 - ’Twas the Night Before Liquids
Ok, the day before the “Big Day” I found myself filled with excitement. Unfortunately, I was faced with so many deadlines at work, that it was 8 pm before I realized that I had failed to get in my infamous “Last Supper”. I was actually ok with this since I was still so excited for Friday. My husband was having none of that. He grabbed me by the arm and hauled me down to Safeway to meander down all the isles where I pretended to never to venture. Chips? What isle are those on again? He started manically rooting out and filling his basket with all things junk. “What the F#$%?”, I said? This was abnormal behavior for him. He said I would be displacing weight over the next few months and he wanted to keep it all in the family. Sick joke, what a weirdo! Then as he slowly steered me towards the Bakery we ended up in the donut aisle. Then he magically whispered in my ear as if he was offering me the moon and said “pick one”. Deep sigh, it was like being at Tiffany’s. Where to start? First mini-mart madness Valentines Day and then this! The choices clouded my brain, apple fritter or chocolate bar? I am so intent on this task as if I am decided to clip the red or the green wire on a bomb. Finally, out of the corner of my eye, a beautiful chocolate bismark comes into focus. I was instantly transported back to Al’s Donuts of my childhood in Antioch. That was the one! After paying for our loot, we sat in the car together and I slowly, peeled back the plastic. With great feeling and awareness, I slowly ate him bite by bite my beautiful chocolately Biz Markie. I was moaning with pleasure as cream oozed out on my lips as I licked it up. Even after 18 years of living with crazy, He watched me in amazement, a bit of jealousy, and then puzzlement over his jealousy. He witnessed my affair with Biz Markie. I started singing, “Oh baby you, you got what I neeeeed….you say he’s just a friend…”. This is how I once again painfully ended my affair with sugar. In the Safeway parking lot, with my husband watching me name a donut after a one hit wonder 80’s pop artist. All in all, not a bad way to end and affair.
You asked for it….and I was inspired (Part 2)
It is bitter sweet that I have finally gotten to the place in my life long battle of obesity and sugar addiction where I would even make the appointment. I mean who in their right mind is devastated when their labs come back healthy? No sane person! I guess my continued quest for why will continue on like David Carridean wondering through late night reruns of Kung Fu. Maybe some day the medical community will be able to understand my toxic love affair with all things crunchy and creamy. Until then, I am plunking down every spare nickel I have and some I don’t, to let the good Dr Hendricks be my guide. I curse myself for overlooking the power of a medical spending care account last year!
You asked for it….and I was inspired
Thank you for your overwhelming interest y’all on Wednesday night to catalog the depths of my insanity as I wobble into the world of ” Medical Weight Loss” for the first time. I had never thought to write about anything before but this topic hits so close to home and lets face it, is so ripe with pure entertainment value. Who could resist?. So, over the course of the next year, I will attempt to recount my ups, downs, bumps, bruises and the hope of all hope, a small glimmer of success. Thank you for once again making something ~All About Me!
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